My Special Talent. (It’s Not Making Poached Egg.)
I can’t remember whether I’ve ever told you, but I have a very special talent. Read the rest of this gem…
I can’t remember whether I’ve ever told you, but I have a very special talent. Read the rest of this gem…
I make my own granola.
Sounds quaint, I know. Like knitting my own socks or preserving my own peaches or churning my own butter.
But the thing is, I like granola. It’s a fantastic breakfast, it’s healthy-ish, and it’s crazy easy to make.
I mean, basically you mix a bunch of stuff together, then mix a bunch of other stuff together, then mix the two mixtures together, then bake.
Heck. You don’t even have to bake it if you don’t really want to.
To make it, you will need pretty much anything you want. You can use the recipe below as a guide, but don’t be afraid to get a little crazy. Like agave nectar instead of honey? Use it. Prefer vegetable oil to coconut oil? Be my guest. Crazy about oat bran? Substitute for some of the ground flax and toss it on in. If you want your granola to be more sticky and less crumbly, make more of the “wet” part (step 2) and cook a little less.
This can get a little pricy, depending on the ingredients you choose, but it makes a lot. If you were to buy the same amount from the store, you’d not only be spending mucho deniro, but you’d be getting all kinds of not-so-awesome added sugars and preservatives and all of that crap that makes us feel slow and drudgy instead of awesome and powerful.
Here’s what I used in my last batch:
1) Mix the first 7 ingredients (oats, wheat germ, flax, sunflower seeds, and nuts) together in a very large mixing bowl.
2) Mix the last 7 ingredients (salt, sugar, syrup, honey, oil, cinnamon, and vanilla) together in a sauce pan, heat over medium-high heat, and bring to a boil for 1 minute.
3) Pour the wet stuff into the bowl with the dry stuff and stir to combine.
4) Line a baking sheet with foil or parchment paper, then spread the mixture evenly and bake at 300-degrees F for 30-40 minutes, stirring halfway through. It will keep cooking for a bit after you remove it, so don’t worry if it’s not completely crunchy before you take it out. If you like it softer, bake it less. There really are no rules — just don’t burn it. That’s easy to do, so watch closely as you start to near the end of your cooking time.
Once you take it out, add your raisins or chocolate or whatever your little heart desires. I prefer mine plain.
Let it cool on the sheet before storing it in an air-tight container.
5) Serve however you’d like! My favorite is over vanilla or plain yogurt with sliced strawberries.
Mmmm. All I have left to do is put my hair in dreads and buy some hemp pants and I can officially call myself crunchy.
But really, with granola like this, that’s not a bad way to be.
Also, it will make you feel awesome and powerful. I promise.
I bet you thought that I don’t cook anymore, just because Justin’s beachin’ it in Afghanistan.
What? There aren’t any beaches in Afghanistan?
Then what the f*ck is he doing there?
ahem.
Anyway, if you thought I don’t cook anymore just because my man’s not around to eat it, you’d mostly be right.
Mostly.
See, back when he was gone for only weeks at a time versus months at a time, it was easy for me to wax on about Dinners for One and why it’s important to prepare decent meals for yourself like rustic pasta carbonara or even just a simple microwaved artichoke antipasti platter. (It sounds fancy because I used the word “antipasti,” but really it’s just a microwaved artichoke served with cheese and crackers and maybe olives, if you’re feeling extra indulgent.)
And I still believe this to be true.
Even so, I just don’t cook as often. See, I still like to eat well. But as many of you singletons have been telling me over the years, I’m learning that it’s hard to stay motivated when you come home to an empty house. It’s hard to want to cook, when you’re the only one there to enjoy it.
But then, when I stop to think about it, I realize — one of my favorite foods is a hot dog. A thick, juicy, grill-marked, real meat dog on a crisp toasted bun.
Or one of these Wellington Dogs wrapped in puff pastry from our trip to Biker Jim’s in Denver.
Sometimes, you know, when I’m not buying my shrimp from a van or ordering hot dogs at upscale (at least for these parts) restaurants, I like to eat strange food.
And not strange in a “cool” way, but strange in a “but… why?” way.
For example.
I try to eat breakfast every day. But, since I’m not usually inclined to go all out cooking a big meal for myself, I tend to stick to a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats or a piece of toast with peanut butter and honey or peanut butter and jelly.
Basically, as long as we have the peanut butter, we’re good.
But every now and then I get the hankering for something a little… different. Something from my childhood. And I have to buy it. This is much to Justin’s chagrin, because that means he has to stare at it in the fridge for the next month.
Friends, meet Braunschweiger.
Brown-what?
Braunschweiger. Or basically, liverwurst.
Don’t ask me to explain it, but I love it.
I mean… it’s spreadable meat that comes in a tube.
There’s just something about it… when it’s spread over a thin layer of butter on toasted wheat bread, and the butter oozes out from under the pasty meat… mmm.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, Katie, how can something that looks so bad, taste oh, so good?
What? You weren’t thinking that? It’s just me?
Oh well, your loss…
How about you? Are you a closeted eater of some food most other people would find disgusting?
Do share.
Who knows? I might just give it a whirl.