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We All Jumped Down the Rabbit Hole and Managed to Keep Our Heads.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you already know that I have a soft spot in my heart for people who break convention.

For people who say, “I don’t care what the sheeple want — I want what I want, and if it means that the so-called Rule Makers of the Universe — the Simon Cowells and the Joan Rivers and all of the popular girls in all of the high schools in all of the land — point their snide noses in my direction, then I must be doing something right.”

See, in this world, there are good rules, and there are bad rules.

Good rules, like having to wear seat belts in moving vehicles to we don’t pose a danger to ourselves or others by becoming flailing, rubbery, projectile objects during the event of a collision, help protect us from our own laziness and stupidity.

Bad rules, however, like those that tell us we can’t drink at baby showers and we can’t wear a black shirt with brown boots, only exist because someone who was once the slightest bit influential (and is now likely dead, in rehab, or no longer relevant) once said it out loud.

And puh-leez.  Black and brown go with anything.  So why wouldn’t they go with each other?

And we all know how I feel about drinking at baby showers.

So.

Imagine my excitement when I received an invitation — nay, an order, from the Queen of Hearts herself, to follow the White Rabbit to a “simply mad” tea party wedding, where all of the guests would be wearing vintage inspired clothing and hats.

It was going to be like make-believe for grown ups.

I mean, c’mon.  You wouldn’t have to twist my arm to get me to jump down that rabbit hole.

Or any rabbit hole, now that I think about it.

Except maybe a real one.

Anyway.

Hop on in:

The details were out of this world.

I was there, too.  Showing off my mad croquet skills.

This is me.  Winning.

I’m pretty sure they didn’t have cell phones in Wonderland, people.

Yep. That one’s mine.

This part was way cool.  The DJ played music from Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, and the bride’s parents came out as the King and Queen of Hearts.

Makeup change!  She even got her groom to wear the hat for 30 seconds.  Thirty seconds of AWESOME.

Like photographing Grace Kelly on set.

This “bouquet” must have weighed 35 pounds. It was incredible.

There were only 35-or-so guests at this Alice in Wonderland theme wedding, and each one played along, which really made it magical.

Most people scoffed when the bride told them her plans.

All I can say is, I’m glad they didn’t bring her down.

I think it’s Taylor Swift who sings, “People throw rocks at things that shine.”  And shine, that evening did.

So.  Maybe Taylor knows what she’s talking about, after all.

I Go to Weddings for Free Booze and Cake. Oh, and Love.

Despite the fact that everyone around me is popping out bellies and babies like we’ve reached some kind of colossal Lemming-like tipping point of a giant cliff and after the first person stepped off, everyone else just followed right along because they had to — because jumping off of cliffs is the thing to do, didn’tcha know, and somehow I’m stuck standing at the precipice, staring down into the abyss, thinking it looks kind of interesting down there in the clouds and I’ve always enjoyed a free-fall, but do I really want to fall that long at that fast?

So despite the fact that all of that is happening, I’m happy because there are still people in my life who are in the we’re-getting-married-so-let’s-have-a-kick-ass-wedding stage.

That doesn’t mean I’m happy because I’m a girly girl who loves planting my bony butt on a rock-hard pew and crying through an hour-long pomp and circumstance of nuptials.  And it’s certainly not because I’m a girly girl who loves donning a fancy dress, sparkling jewelry, and enough hairspray to fuel a rocket launch to the moon.

Nope.

It’s because I’m a girly girl who appreciates a fully stocked open bar for an evening, champagne toasts, line dancing with strangers, and a vast assortment of “special occasion” food: from little trays of bacon-wrapped hors d’oeuvres and plates of fruit and cheese, to a buffet or sit-down dinner of various stuffed chicken, pasta, and steak, to a veritable smorgasbord of meal-ending sweets in the form of wedding cake, pastries, and an actual bar full of candy.  Just take a bag and fill it up!  Seriously?  Does it get better than that?

Oh, it does.  Because at this particular wedding, the thoughtful bride — or, probably more accurately the thoughtful bride’s father — provided baskets of flip-flops in the ladies’ restroom for when our footsies got sore after all of that dancing.

And after several champagne toasts, complimentary Cabernet, and a vodka sprite with a twist of lime, wearing those bright-pink flip-flops felt like walking on a cloud.

A cloud.

It mattered not that the flops clashed horribly with my royal blue dress (which is way darker than it looks in the on-line picture).  In fact, I’m pretty sure hot pink and royal blue is the next up-and-coming color trend.

(This is the part where you hate me because I don’t have a single picture of myself in the dress.  Not one.  Though I’ll keep an eye out for any wedding photos that happen to crop up with me in them.)

Anyway.  The whole thing got me thinking about weddings, and how silly it seems to spend all that dough for just one evening to impress people, and how no one really would’ve cared if there weren’t any flip-flops or extra pastries or bacon-wrapped delicacies or free booze, because a bring-your-own-beer barbecue in the back yard would have done just as well to celebrate the joining of two lives among family and friends.

But then.

The groom, whom I’ve known since my freshman year of college, chose his father as his Best Man.  His heartwarming toast was followed by that of the bride’s father — the guy responsible for keeping 200+ people swimming in booze, food, and flip-flops for the evening.

And he said something.

He said, “We all know that every little girl* grows up dreaming about her wedding day — about the dress she’ll wear, what kind of cake she’ll have, and what kind of footwear she’ll provide in the ladies’ restroom.”  (Just kidding.  He didn’t say that last part.)

*I did not grow up dreaming about my wedding day.  I for sure thought I’d elope.  If I even got married at all.

Then he said, “What we don’t know is that every girl’s father dreams of her wedding day, too.  Except it’s more like nightmares.”

[Insert uproarious laughter from the crowd.]

“But then,” he said, “you look out across your friends and family, all smiling and here for your girl.  And you look at her and see how beautiful she is — ”

And that’s where he lost it.

His voice cracked.

The tears came.  Not just from him, but from every. single. woman in the room.

Myself included.

He finished with something about love and how his love for his daughter makes the fact that he’ll be living off of nothing but Ramen noodles for the next 3 years entirely worth it.  (Just kidding.  He didn’t say that last part.)

But I’m pretty sure that’s what he meant.

And you know, even though my first choice for a wedding would have included about 8 people barefoot on a beach in Fiji, it doesn’t really matter.  The bride was happy.  The groom was happy.  Their parents were ecstatic.  And when the champagne buzz wears off and they have a mountain of bills and beautiful photographs to show for it, Real Life will start and at least they’ll have started it off exactly the way they wanted.

And, for a rainy day, they’ll have the gift I bought them.

Tucked inside a cooler hand-picked from their registry is a bottle of good champagne and a 6-pack of Natural Light.

On the card,

Three gifts:
One for remembering the past,
One for celebrating the future,
And one for keeping it all cool.

It’s a metaphor.

I think.

A Favorable Program

(WARNING:  The sheer cutsey-ness of this project might make you gag.) 

Wedding Program and CD Holder

 

It floors me when I realize how many people are afraid to try a simple DIY project involving paper, some ribbon, a blank CD, and a little imagination. 

I have always considered myself one of those un-crafty people who couldn’t even sew a button to save my life, but this?  This is do-able. 

Inside Cover & Page 1 (outside)
Inside Cover & Page 1 (outside)

 

I decided to combine my programs and favors into one, cute little CD pouch/book thingie.  The program contained all of the pertinent wedding information (key players, timeline, thank-you note, etc.), but the neat little surprise in the back was the personalized CD with meaningful and fun songs for people to listen to on their trips back home. 

CD Holder
CD Holder

 

When I came to terms with the fact that we weren’t having the simple destination wedding about which I’d always dreamed, I took it upon myself to make things as difficult as possible by making many of the wedding-type projects myself.  And the programs (and favors) were no exception. 

Truthfully though, I wouldn’t have done it any other way.  Why pay someone a small fortune, when I can create my own and have complete control over the turnout?  I won’t lie, though – this does take some time. 

Here’s what you need: 

  • Paper (I used linen textured paper that you can find at any home office store)
  • CD pouches (Bliss Weddings Market)
  • Full sheet sticker labels for the cover (I bought the HP brand from Office Max)
  • Blank CDs
  • Downloaded Songs
  • Computer
  • Ribbon
  • Small hole punch
  • CD labels (optional) (I bought the Memorex CD & DVD label-maker from Office Max)
  • My template (optional)
  • My fonts (optional)

I’m providing my template in the sidebar on the right of this page.  It should be downloadable – hopefully it works!  You can get a couple of my fonts on this page. 

1)  Download the songs you want (try to make them meaningful to you in some way – we used songs that were played during our ceremony and reception and songs that we’ve enjoyed together). 

2)  Start burning!  This will take awhile, depending on how many you need. 

3)  Use the template to fill in your own information– wedding participants, songs, ceremony order, special ceremonies/readings, pictures, remembrance page, and a kick-ass thank-you! 

4)  Print– make sure you print page 2 on the back of page 1, etc. because otherwise the margins will not line up correctly. When you’re ready to print, always print a complete test program and put it together so that you know everything worked as it should. 

5)  Design your inside and outside covers to be printed on the full-sheet label paper. I was able to print 4 covers (2 front and 2 back) on each sheet of label paper. Cut them out and apply them directly to the CD case. 

6)  Cut the excess paper off your main program pages. Once the pages are all cut (this can take a loooong time), stack the pages for one program together in order (excluding the separate insert with the song list) and hold them inside the CD case. Punch 2 holes in the spine and all the way through the pages to make sure everything lines up. Tie the ribbon through the holes, and you’re done! Lots of work, but well worth it. Stick the extra insert in the pocket on the inside back over of the case. 

Page 1 (inside) & Page 2 (outside)
Page 1 (inside) & Page 2 (outside)

 

Page 2 (inside) & Page 3 (outside)
Page 2 (inside) & Page 3 (outside)

 

Page 3 (inside) & Page 3 (inside)
Page 3 (inside) & Page 3 (inside)

 

Page 3 (outside) & Page 2 (inside)
Page 3 (outside) & Page 2 (inside)

 

Page 2 (outside) & Page 1 (inside)
Page 2 (outside) & Page 1 (inside)

 

Back Page & Insert
Back Page & Insert

 

Insert (inside)
Insert (inside)

 

Insert (back)
Insert (back)

 

And there you have it.  You can download the templates on the right side of the screen, but take note: some fonts I used are copyrighted– that means I cannot share them on here.  The templates will also look strange because you most likely don’t have the same fonts I used.  If you still want to know what they are, I used Bickham Script Fancy, Afternoon Delight, Beautiful ES, and Centabel Book.  (Again, this page has a couple of fonts.  Also check out DaFont.com for hundreds of FREE downloadable fonts!) 

There are lots of beautiful and fun fonts out there, so create your own look and have fun!