Navigate / search

A Domestiphobe’s Top 3 Underrated Chick Flicks of All Time (Or at Least What I Could Think of During 5 Minutes of Brainstorming)

I’m sitting in the middle of the sofa, sandwiched by a couple of warm, sleeping pups, while the roof of my front porch makes scary, creaking sounds outside of the window behind my back.  Lucky for me, that’s the worst I’m experiencing of this hurricane, which is fantastic, considering my hurricane preparation consisted of getting out of bed twice in the middle of the night — first to fill 3 pitchers with tap water in case the water went out (which it did during my first hurricane experience back in Georgia), and second to grab a flashlight in case the power went out (which it also did during my first hurricane experience back in Georgia).

I didn’t even know if the flashlight worked, but I didn’t dare try because, upon ultimately discovering its failure to bring light during my nearly sleepless night, I knew I would only get depressed at my inability to prepare.  You would think that after living in south Georgia during the infamous hurricane season of 2005, I would know how to go out and purchase the basics, like jugs of water, flashlight batteries, and ice cream I’d be forced to eat if the power went out.

Darn.

But let’s face it — in a true emergency, I would be the girl knocking on your door, half-starved and begging for a sip of water or even a bit of dental floss from your undoubtedly pimped-out emergency kit.

Trust me, that visual would probably be funny if it weren’t so… true.

Anyway.

The good thing about being on the outskirts of a hurricane or in the midst of any good storm is that it’s pretty much the only occasion during which I allow myself to just stop.  The only time I allow myself to just relax without constantly berating myself for not working on some kind of project.  It’s probably the only time I can sit through an entire movie outside of the theater, and in this case, several.

I enjoy plenty of action movies and comedies given the right combination of mood and film, but when my husband is out of town, I go full-blown girl up in here.  I’m not going to lie to make myself sound cooler — I like my chick flicks.  And, while the obvious choices are movies that apparently give women unrealistic expectations about love like The Notebook, P.S. I Love You, and Love Actually, I especially like chick flicks that, while inspiring warm, loving feelings of chocolate pudding romance and silly female antics, also have a worn, crusty edge of realism — that fight against the perception that

life is about looking for a “soul mate,” and is instead about fully loving and appreciating the souls in life whom you make your mates.

Unfortunately, these types of movies often tend to get overlooked for the aforementioned obvious choices.  So here, for your reading pleasure, are a Domestiphobe’s

Top 3 Underrated Chick Flicks of All Time (Or at Least What I Could Think of During 5 Minutes of Brainstorming):

3) A Lot Like Love

It’s silly, it’s quirky, and if you can deal with the fact that it has a cheesy guitar solo that I happen to love, it’s fairly realistic when it comes to assessing personality types and priorities when it comes to love, career, and expectations for both.  What else can I say?  I dig it.

2) Definitely, Maybe

Okay.  I will admit the premise sounds a little creepy when I explain the movie revolves around a dad explaining to his daughter how he met her mother and making her guess which, out of the 3 women he describes, is the woman he went on to marry, make a baby with, and then divorce.  But for some reason it’s not.  It’s touching.  The running themes, of course, are how life doesn’t always work out the way you plan, relationships are complicated and have good aspects as well as bad, and there are many types of people in the world who can make you happy for different reasons.

1) Vicky, Christina, Barcelona

I’m just going to say it.  It’s a Woody Allen film.  Whew.  Now that that uncomfortable bit is out of the way, I can talk about the movie.  It follows two young women on their extended trip to Spain.  They’re friends, but have quite the opposite perceptions of “love,” and what they want out of it.  While Vicky takes the more practical stance on relationships, feeling love should be stable, reliable, and treated like an investment on which the makings of a long and content marriage can be built, Christina finds that excitement, exploration of the depths of the unknown, and most important, passion, are the true ingredients of what make love — and any relationship — worthwhile.

Complete with gems like, “only unfulfilled love can be romantic,” the sheer genius of the writing lies in the fact that the true, complicated, and never fully understood desires of women are captured in both Vicky and Christina.  While each of us may lean more towards one or the other, there’s no denying the fact that we all want fireworks, and we all want stability.  The trick might just be finding both.  Add to that a beautiful soundtrack of Spanish guitar, lots of Spanish wine, and an intriguing love uh… pentagon, and you have the makings of a sharp, intellectual chick flick that, if you let it, will make you want to introduce more passion into your life while appreciating the simplicity of a comfortable romance.

And P.S., for any guys out there who’ve made it this far through this post, there is also a kissing scene between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz.  You’re welcome.

I’ll tell you one thing — it really, really makes me want to go back to Spain, where the pace is easy and wine is a lunchtime staple.

I kind of think that’s the way I’m supposed to live.

How about you?  Know of some underrated chick flicks I should try?  How about movies that inspire you to live a different kind of life?  And the biggie:  Whether you’re a guy or a girl in Barcelona or elsewhere, are you more of a Vicky?  Or more Christina?

Great Expectations

So my soon-to-be ex co-worker Stacy (remember her?) recently brought my attention to this little article.

Before I go into my analysis, I just want to say that I’m proud of the fact that we have male and female readers.  Even though Erin and I are a couple of chicks, I like to think we’re throwing something out there for everyone.  So please don’t take the following rant as guy-bashing.  It’s not.  I love guys.  Some of my favorite people are guys.  Truly.

What follows is stupid-article bashing.  And while I don’t think Erin and I intend to frequently use this blog as a forum for debate, I’d love to get your take at the end – male or female.  Just don’t be too mean.  Oh, and please excuse my overzealous use of quotation marks.

RELATIONSHIPS VS. HAPPINESS

First, I’d just like to say how much I love the fact that Fox News decided to write an article called, “Romantic Comedies Can Damage Your Relationship, Study Says” and then file it in the “Sexual Health” section of its website.  Now I don’t tend to frequent the Fox News website, but if I did, I think I would head on over to the “Sexual Health” section to look for articles about how often I should get a mammogram, or how to get rid of the crabs that happened in Vegas but did not, in fact, stay in Vegas as promised.

What I would not expect to find is a whiny fluff piece about how romantic comedies (aka. “rom-coms”) are horrible for relationships because they provide a “warm and fuzzy feeling [that] can adversely influence our [womens’] view of real relationships.”

Huh?

So are they saying our view relationships should be cold and abrasive?

I’m already confused.

Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey, director of the so-called study and apparently a “relationship expert” states, “It seems our love of rom-coms is turning us into a nation of ‘happy-ever-after addicts’.”

What’s this, Dr. Morrissey?  We shouldn’t hope for happiness in our relationships?  And if we do, then they must not be real?  Then why are we wasting our time with them?  If we didn’t expect relationships to be happy, we’d probably never seek them out.  Picture it: women wandering listlessly through the streets looking for a bit of chocolate or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s while men casually stroll by asking them to step into an alleyway every now-and-then.

Never expecting happiness in a relationship?  Sounds pretty miserable to me.

The article explains that the study shows these rom-coms lead women to have unrealistic expectations of their partners – outrageous things like wanting their partners to buy them flowers or get down on one knee to propose.

Okay, Fox.  I totally could’ve bought your argument if the study showed women were suddenly expecting their men to learn guitar, write them a love song, and serenade them in a courtyard in front of a bunch of strangers ala “A Lot Like Love.”  (Great rom-com, by the way.)

But chiding women for expecting a couple of nice gestures along the way?  Are these seriously high expectations?  Come on.  We don’t need to watch romantic comedies to want our partners to do something nice for us.  Geez, I’d hate to think what would happen if women asked men to swallow.

Suddenly a little boom box action isn’t looking so tough, is it?

In all fairness, Dr. Morrissey goes on to state, “Real relationships take work, and true love requires more than fireworks.”  Really.  Because it took an “expert” to tell us that.  Of course relationships take work.  Maybe work like… I don’t know… thoughtful gestures?  But wait.  They already said those were unrealistic expectations.

The thing that irks me most of all is her use of the term “true love”.  It seems to me that someone who believes “real” relationships should not be “warm and fuzzy” has no business using a term as goopy as “true love”.

That phrase is a little much even for me, and I’m a known sucker for romantic comedies.

FAIR AND BALANCED

There is a key argument missing from this entire story.  So, in order to make sure Fox can stay on top of its whole “fair and balanced” motto, I’ve decided to write the second half:

Forget how rom-coms will make us silly, impressionable, doe-eyed women unrealistically expect our horrendously lazy and selfish bastardly man-children to occasionally buy us flowers or get down on one knee while proposing.  The nerve.

Most women understand what’s realistic and what is not.

Unrealistic expectation?  Probably.

Unrealistic expectation?  I hope not.

And in this day-and-age, this works too:

But the other argument this study didn’t reveal is the unrealistic expectations these movies give men about women.  Here are just a few:

  • We don’t sleep in our makeup.
  • If we do, we don’t wake up with it still looking as fresh and perfect as it did when we first applied it.  Instead, it would be smeared all over our face and our pillow.  Oh, and our hair doesn’t curl itself in the middle of the night.
  • We don’t discuss men while sitting around together in our bras and panties.  (And if we did, we certainly wouldn’t tell you about it.)
  • Sometimes we fart.
  • We’re not going to freak out if you talk to us like grown-ups.  Avoiding confrontation isn’t “cute” or “charming” and in the end, lying about something is going to tick us off way more than you telling us you just want a night out with the guys.
  • Many of us talk about sex more often than we talk about relationships.
  • We have hair.  Hair that social norms require us to shave, wax, chemically burn, or pull out by the roots much more thoroughly and frequently than you.  It’s a pain, and sometimes we’re going to get a little lazy.
  • I can’t think of a single one of us who would mistake you-know-what for hair gel.  And if you run across a woman who does, you might want to run the other way.

So that’s that.  Guys, just because we’re out there watching these movies doesn’t mean we expect our relationships to be full of grand public gestures of your undying adoration.  But do we appreciate thoughtful gifts or kind words?  Sure, probably as much as you!

Relationships are work and they do require open communication.  And to that effect, maybe the rom-coms are on to something.  I think most men and women understand that.  Problems arise when we get lazy and start taking our partners for granted – when we stop doing nice things for each other just because we don’t want to take the time, spend the money, do the work.

I am certainly not a relationship expert.  The hubs could attest to that.  But some things are pretty straightforward.

The bottom line? Guys, no matter how many romantic comedies we watch, women won’t expect you to base-jump off the top of the Empire State Building to prove your love – as long as you don’t expect us to wake up in the morning with fresh breath and flawless eyeliner.

And that, my friends, is compromise.