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Reason #372 Why I’m A Crappy Girl.

So apparently my 2 year blogiversary — that’s the cutsey name blog people came up with for a blog anniversary — like TomCat or BradGelina — get it? — passed nearly a month ago without me even noticing.

And that, my friends, is why I’m a crappy girl.

It’s true.

When we first got together, it was Justin who reminded me about the anniversary of the day we first met.  And not just the first year, but most subsequent years.

Combine that with the fact that I would never remember anyone’s birthday if it weren’t for Facebook and that my detachment from having any real “home” has caused me to be about as sentimental as Lord Voldemort on Ritalin, and we have one very crappy girl on our hands.

I mean, aren’t girls supposed to be good at remembering special dates?  And aren’t girls supposed to buy special gifts for people “just because” and carry Hallmark discount cards and have wrapping paper stations?

I neither do nor have any of these things.

I still have a birthday card that I bought for my mom over 2 years ago.

I’ve never been good with calendars, or planners, or blackberries, or reminders.  I can do lists, but I usually only make it 1/3 of the way through them before I get bored and move on.  I have approximately 37 draft blog posts that I’ve started and never finished.  The polish on my right big toenail has been chipped for 3 days.

I tell you these things not only so you can understand what we’re working with here, but so you can feel better about yourself if you’re better than me.  Or good enough about yourself if you’re as bad as me.

Or something.

Because honestly, this is just me.  And the fact that I let the exact date, 2 years later, that I started this blog roll by without even realizing it, only proves it.

And guess what?

The world didn’t end.  The blog didn’t end.  Wordpress hasn’t started writing me nasty letters because I missed a ubiquitous blogiversary post.

So really, I just forgot it, and I don’t feel bad.

And because I don’t feel bad, I don’t feel like a failure.

And because I don’t feel like a failure, I think that maybe mentally, I’ve made some improvements over the past year.

And if we’re going to bother measuring time, those are the things — self-improvement achievements, relationship communication milestones, number of stamps in my passport this year — that are worth remembering.

A date is just a date.  A year is just a year.

It’s what we do with them that counts.

Annapolis, MD

Annapolis, MD.  April 4th, 2012.  Taken with my iPhone.

 

So Happy Together

Imagine me and you
I do
I think about you day and night
It’s only right
To think about the [blog] you love
And hold her tight
So happy togetherrrrr…..

-The Turtles, “Happy Together”

Okay, was that awkward?

And has it really been a year today since I started this thing?

I can’t believe how much has changed since March 2010.  And I’m just going to say it – 2010 was a bitch of a year.  For me and many people I know, it seems like last year was like dangling bait – giving us some things we think we might want, only to snatch them away again.

And then, just when we think we’ve hooked ourselves a nice big walleye, all we come up with is a bunch of seaweed.

Twenty-ten can kiss my ass.  Because it certainly kicked it.

But good.

So let’s look at a few of the things that have changed since I started this blog.

By the end of: March 2010 March 2011
Age: 27 28
Employment: Army contractor working with GIS and Sustainability programs. Waitress.
Approx. Number of Times Hugged by Drunk People I Don’t Know: 5-10 5,782
Countries Lived In: 1 2
Fluent in Curse Words in Number of Languages: 2 3
Blog Posts Written: 9 212 (260 including my Costa Rica cohort, Erin)
Blog “hits”: 225 29,278
Average “hits” per day: 45 149
Hard Drives Destroyed: 0 2
Aspirations: Undefined We’re getting there.

Interesting.

You’d think by these comparisons – especially the job thing – that I’d be less happy this year than I was last year.  But not true!

(In case you weren’t around, I quit my job in order to go to Costa Rica and make hot sauce.  Feel free to read about that fun little adventure over in the Bon Voyage section of the site under “Living and Learning.”)

In any case, think it’s safe to say that I’ve been going through a bit of an identity crisis since I started this blog (and honestly, it started even before that).  Whether you recognized it or not, a big part of this thing has been working through who I am – the things I like – the things I don’t like – and just putting it out there to see what I (or anyone else) can make of it.

So if you’re new here, click around.  Explore.  Ask me questions.  I won’t bite.

much.

It’s crazy for me to look back through actual documentation of the things I’ve done.  It’s definitely not much, but for someone who has a terrible memory, probably because she went through that pot smoking phase during her senior year of high school (sorry mom!), it’s nice to see.  Nice to see I did something, you know?

For example, I did a lot of cooking (You can see all of the recipes in the “Down the Hatch” section under “Living and Learning“):

California Grilled Veggie Sandwich

California Grilled Veggie Sandwich

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cream Pie

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cream Pie

Portobello Shroomies with Creamy Scallop Topping

Spinach Salmon Bundles, Cube Steak Sandwich, Shrimp Asparagus & Sundried Tomato Pasta

Spinach Salmon Bundles; My Favorite Steak SandwichShrimpy, Garlicy, Asparagusy Pasta with Wine

I also did quite a few projects that can be found in “Crafts and Decor” and “Making Messes” sections, both under “Around the House“:

Kitchen Cabinet Cork Board

Cabinet Cork Board

finished mirror

Sprucing up Thrifty Finds

Kitchen Layout Options

How to Plan a Functional Kitchen Layout

So there’s definitely been some progress.

And obviously some fall-backs.

But definitely some progress.

Because, even with the job quitting and the Costa Rica traveling and the hard drive crashing and the overall turmoil I’ve been choosing to throw at my otherwise placid existence, I’m seeing an improvement on my outlook.

Defining Domestiphobia has allowed me to see why I was feeling trapped in my 9-5.  Why I felt the need to do more.  Why I felt like change – BIG change – more than anything, was the best thing that could happen to me.

In the end, it turns out, if your heart really wants something, you can do one of 2 things:  Deny it, or accept it.  While denial seems like the simpler option – simpler than rocking your world, shaking things up, embracing uncertainty – I can almost promise you that it’s not.

Regret, suppressed passion, and lethargy are not generally things that will make you feel good in the end.

In the end.

In the end, all we have is our own sense of contentment.  Did we love?  Did we laugh?  Did we learn?  Did we come out of it scarred, broken, humbled… but satisfied?

The truth is, we might never find that thing that makes us feel truly complete.  But the excitement of the search – the discomfort of the unknown – is the fun part.

Don’t you think?

Here’s to another year of living and learning.  Sometimes crashing, sometimes burning.

But hopefully it will be worth the ride.