So Happy Together
Imagine me and you
I think about you day and night
It’s only right
To think about the [blog] you love
And hold her tight
So happy togetherrrrr…..
-The Turtles, “Happy Together”
Okay, was that awkward?
And has it really been a year today since I started this thing?
I can’t believe how much has changed since March 2010. And I’m just going to say it – 2010 was a bitch of a year. For me and many people I know, it seems like last year was like dangling bait – giving us some things we think we might want, only to snatch them away again.
And then, just when we think we’ve hooked ourselves a nice big walleye, all we come up with is a bunch of seaweed.
Twenty-ten can kiss my ass. Because it certainly kicked it.
So let’s look at a few of the things that have changed since I started this blog.
|By the end of:||March 2010||March 2011|
|Employment:||Army contractor working with GIS and Sustainability programs.||Waitress.|
|Approx. Number of Times Hugged by Drunk People I Don’t Know:||5-10||5,782|
|Countries Lived In:||1||2|
|Fluent in Curse Words in Number of Languages:||2||3|
|Blog Posts Written:||9||212 (260 including my Costa Rica cohort, Erin)|
|Average “hits” per day:||45||149|
|Hard Drives Destroyed:||0||2|
|Aspirations:||Undefined||We’re getting there.|
You’d think by these comparisons – especially the job thing – that I’d be less happy this year than I was last year. But not true!
(In case you weren’t around, I quit my job in order to go to Costa Rica and make hot sauce. Feel free to read about that fun little adventure over in the Bon Voyage section of the site under “Living and Learning.”)
In any case, think it’s safe to say that I’ve been going through a bit of an identity crisis since I started this blog (and honestly, it started even before that). Whether you recognized it or not, a big part of this thing has been working through who I am – the things I like – the things I don’t like – and just putting it out there to see what I (or anyone else) can make of it.
So if you’re new here, click around. Explore. Ask me questions. I won’t bite.
It’s crazy for me to look back through actual documentation of the things I’ve done. It’s definitely not much, but for someone who has a terrible memory, probably because she went through that pot smoking phase during her senior year of high school (sorry mom!), it’s nice to see. Nice to see I did something, you know?
So there’s definitely been some progress.
And obviously some fall-backs.
But definitely some progress.
Because, even with the job quitting and the Costa Rica traveling and the hard drive crashing and the overall turmoil I’ve been choosing to throw at my otherwise placid existence, I’m seeing an improvement on my outlook.
Defining Domestiphobia has allowed me to see why I was feeling trapped in my 9-5. Why I felt the need to do more. Why I felt like change – BIG change – more than anything, was the best thing that could happen to me.
In the end, it turns out, if your heart really wants something, you can do one of 2 things: Deny it, or accept it. While denial seems like the simpler option – simpler than rocking your world, shaking things up, embracing uncertainty – I can almost promise you that it’s not.
Regret, suppressed passion, and lethargy are not generally things that will make you feel good in the end.
In the end.
In the end, all we have is our own sense of contentment. Did we love? Did we laugh? Did we learn? Did we come out of it scarred, broken, humbled… but satisfied?
The truth is, we might never find that thing that makes us feel truly complete. But the excitement of the search – the discomfort of the unknown – is the fun part.
Don’t you think?
Here’s to another year of living and learning. Sometimes crashing, sometimes burning.
But hopefully it will be worth the ride.