I was going to name this post something like “My Mother’s Secret Balls” or “Real Domestiphobes Like Balls Any Time Of Year,” but I didn’t. Which I think it a true testament to how far I’ve come, maturity-wise, since that time I kept talking about nipples.
I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room. Looking lonely.
Want a little company? Don’t worry, I don’t bite. Ha-ha.
Sooo, what brings a sweet little thing like you to a place like this?
Really? That’s fascinating.
Tell me more…
I have to say, you’re amazing and I dig getting to know you and all….
But you look a little tense.
Confined, even.
Maybe you should try to loosen up a bit…?
There. Now doesn’t that feel better?
Yeah, that’s more like it…
Man, you’re really coming out of your shell, aren’t you? Wild thing!
So, uh… yeah. (cough)
Well, (checks watch) I guess I’d better get going.
Got a busy day ahead of me. And whatnot.
You know how it is.
Um, look, you’re sweet and all.
I’m just not really looking for anything long-term right now. You know?
Plus, you’re candy. I’m a girl. It’d never last between us.
But you’ll remain in my heart (and teeth) for a long time to come.
You stay classy, you hear?
