Because Words Are Lazy, Useless Slackers.
After spending the last two weeks of my life negotiating, bargaining, pleading, and possibly even making thinly-veiled threats against a coworkers’ family in a vain effort to hash out this one teeny-tiny, cosmically insignificant newsletter article on health care program management (yes, the same one I mentioned way back here), I have come to the conclusion that words are primitive, ineffectual communication tools.
Much like the homeless guy in Baker Park who mutters and makes borderline lewd gestures at the birds, you know language is trying to accomplish something, you just can’t quite tell what. (True story, by the way. Frederick homeless people, you so crazy.)
As such, I will no longer be wasting my time with it. I am so over words.
From now on, friends, my main mode of communication will be through bar graphs and pie charts — and the occasional Venn Diagram to keep things sassy.
So, I could devote the next 30-45 minutes on this post trying to relay to you how I’m feeling this morning… or I could just sum things up in five minutes with a handy-dandy pie chart.
Hmm, what to do?
Voila! Such is the awe-inspiring magic of Microsoft Office Excel 2007. Bask in its glory.
Seriously, I said bask.
And since that felt oh so good, I believe I’ll do another one.
I think I feel a bar graph coming on… Yep, here it comes…
Nice, right? It’s easy, gets to the point, leaves no room for misinterpretation.
I don’t want to brag, but I think I’m revolutionizing communication here, people.
Spread the word.