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Flushing. But Not Another Post About Toilets.

***WARNING***  You probably shouldn’t read this post if you just ate.  Or are currently eating.  Or ever plan on eating again.  Thank you.

I’ve been hesitant to write this post this morning, not solely due to the grotesque nature of the topic, but because I have a rather large commitment happening tomorrow — nothing big, mind you — just a baby celebration I’m throwing for one of my best friends in the world and 30-40 of her closest friends — and I don’t want today’s subject to freak my friend — or the dear girls who are helping me organize the party — out.

So let me preface this by saying, I.  Will.  Be.  There.

My whole predicament started about a week ago when my dear neighbor (and she is a dear, dear neighbor) invited us over for dinner.  Fantastic!  Except when we arrived, she sounded terrible, and kept insisting the problem was her allergies.

Turns out, it wasn’t.

And apparently she must have licked all of my food, because I’m pretty sure I’m currently suffering from a wee bit of a cold.  I thought it might just be a false alarm and all I needed was a good night’s sleep last night, but that wasn’t in the cards because Capone decided he was going to be sick as well, and let’s just say that the nastiness coming out of his orifices was far worse than anything currently coming out of mine.


The bad news is it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest.  The good news is I have a couple of cold remedies up my sleeve that, while I might be fairly drained during my prep work today, should hopefully fend this thing off long enough to ensure that I am a fully functioning team member tomorrow.

It’s important to remember that I am not a doctor.  Not even close.  But these are the steps I take whenever I have a cold, and they never seem to last as long as they do with other people:

1)  I know it sounds obvious, but I wash my hands ad nauseam when I have a cold.  Every time I blow my nose.  Right before I touch any food.  Any time I touch… anything.  All.  The.  Time.  To the point where they’re chapped and dry and it makes no sense applying lotion because I’m just going to be washing them again in a few minutes anyway.  This is not only for my benefit, but also for the people around me.

2)  I sneeze or cough into my shoulder — not my hands.  Think about it.  How much stuff do you touch with your shoulder?

3)  Switch out my toothbrush.  Just think of how many germs that bugger must be carrying.

4)  Vitamin C.  I load it up, baby.  Like 3 pills a day.

5)  And finally, my absolute savior, a sinus rinse.  Like I said, I’m no doctor, but not only do these puppies drain all of the gunky nastiness from my cold-riddled head, I do believe it also rinses out tons of germies that would otherwise still be swimming around wreaking havoc in there.

It consists of a simple plastic squirt bottle and some saline packets.

I warm up my water a bit — Just a bit!  You don’t want to boil your nostrils.

Add the saline…

And then squirt it on up.

Obviously, if you’re going to try this, you’ll want to refer to the directions.

Now.  I’m not going to lie and tell you this is a pleasant feeling.  Far from it.  You know how it feels when you jump into a pool and get water up your nose?  Well, it’s like that.  Because… you know… you’re squirting water up your nose.  But just like the uncomfortable pinch from a shot or a good ol’ eyebrow waxing, it’s a necessary discomfort that’s for our own good.  And, I’ve discovered that adjusting the direction of the spray (within the confines of your nostril, that is) can make a difference in just how uncomfortable it feels.

Plus, it’s kinda cool when the water — and other gunk — comes out the other side.

Just sayin’.

Don’t worry, I’ll spare you that picture.

I rinsed once this morning, and already I’m breathing easier and the elephant who’s taken up residence on my chest feels as though he’s losing weight.  So.  Fear not.  I’m doing everything in my power to not be an infectious germ farm come Saturday.  I will. not. let. this. win.

*Contrary to how it may appear, this post is NOT a paid advertisement for NeilMed Sinus Rinse.  That just happens to be the brand I picked up from the Walgreens, but I couldn’t care less which brand you use.  NeilMed did not pay me for this post.  Though if they wanted to, I could care which brand you use.


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Dennis Hong

Ah, the sinus rinse. Did I ever mention that I had surgery to fix a deviated septum back in April? Yeah, you dont wanna know why I’ve flushed out my nose in the past few months….


YES I knew about the septum and NO I definitely don’t want to to know what you’ve been flushing out of your nose. :) (P.S. Check my response to you on the post with the dating profile.)


ewwww…get lots of rest and eat some REAL fruit, too….I think that was Kumquat’s way of keeping me healthy through this pregnancy by making me crave fruit instead of pickles.

You had better be napping as I type this….


What?? I have to eat real fruit?? What am I supposed to do with all that wax shit I bought?!

(Of course I’m not napping — just got back from round 2 at the grocery store and will be making appetizers all afternoon and tissue paper pom poms all afternoon while intermittently washing my hands every 5 minutes. :)

Blunt Delivery

dude, stop yourself.

i SWEAR by the sinus rinse. i have the exact same one. it’s heavenly! except not really cus you feel like you’re drowning and it tastes gross.

but still, HEAVENLY when you’re done.

;( hope you get to feeling better darling. those damn nice neighbors, they can’t ever be trusted


I know… they invite me over under the premise of giving me food, and instead give me their cold germs. EVIL.


LOL i loved the disclaimer. Hope you are feeling better soon :)


Ugh, me too. Unfortunately, this thing has decided to get worse before it gets better.


wish you well hope you feel better soon


Thank you. :) Summer colds are the worst.


Jeznowka. It’s a miracle cure. Really. I’m not just saying this because I’m the booziest mom you pseudo know.

Last year, I had a monster of a 3 week cold. I was so stuffed up and miserable, and the mucous was never ending. I was taking fistfulls of pills and still dealing with congestion. One of the lacrosse dads told me to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of Jeznowka. I said. “haha” and continued being miserable. A few days later one of my friends remarked on how I was still sick, and I mentioned what the dad had said, and she replied that her dad swore by blackberry brandy, so I should probably give it a shot. I bought some and drank a whiskey glass full over rocks. The next morning I was already breathing better. That night I had another full glass. The day after that I was right as rain. I keep a handle of it in the frig now just in case.


Okay, I’m glad you explained what Jeznowka is, because I was about to google it. I am adding that to my list for the next time I go to the liquor store! Thanks for the tip!!

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