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…And That’s Why “Ability to Multitask” isn’t Written on my Resume.

I have issues.


Not the least of which is my inability to make a decision — especially when it comes to home interiors.

While for me, spending money on things for the house is about as fun as getting a tooth cavity filled, I also think that, after 4 years, it might be nice for this place to feel like “home.”  Especially when I spend a good bulk of my time photographing other peoples’ gorgeous homes.

I just did a mental assessment, and I realized something quite shocking:  The only  room in which I’ve hung anything besides towel bars on the wall is the laundry room. The laundry room.  In there, I hung a doohickie on which I can hang the ironing board, so it’s purely functional.  Not decorative.  I also hung these kind of pretty wall hooks.

That’s it.

I did hang a gallery corner in my living room at one point, but that came down when I repainted the walls.

What does this mean?

That when it comes to decorating, I’m an indecisive, noncommittal, ball-less freak of a woman?

That’s a start.

But also, I’m pretty sure that nothing triggers my Life ADD more potently than decorating.

Case in point: I was alone this weekend.  It was the perfect opportunity to peruse Pinterest in search of simple, inexpensive and inspirational ideas for the master bedroom.

My first problem?  Why was I looking for master bedroom ideas when my office still has an unshaven armpit?

Well, I would get on the office thing, but the bedroom seems so much more pressing right now because for 4 years we’ve lived with falling-apart plastic vertical blinds, hand-me-down blonde wood furniture (which I intend to paint), blank white walls, and a popcorn ceiling.

In other words, it hasn’t been touched.

And a week ago, I bought a pillow.

The pillow was called “Crazy Ol’ Bird” and I thought it would be perfect to inspire a bedroom because I’m a crazy ol’ bird.

We can relate.

So I’ll bring the pillow here into the living room while I search on Pinterest, and wow — I kind of like that pillow in the living room.  And anyway, it doesn’t match the duvet cover which is something I’d rather not spend money on replacing, so yes.  I’ll leave the pillow in the living room.

Which gives me an almost-blank slate in the master bedroom.  And a green duvet.

And of course, if I’m going to think about the master bedroom, I should probably tie that in with the master bathroom, which still has this horrendous wallpaper border from when we first moved in.

So maybe if I start picking at that, the blank slate will give me some ideas.

Okay, I’m bored.  This stuff isn’t coming off.  And I can see into the bedroom that there are cracks in my vertical blinds, which means that anyone standing outside in the darkness can see me, so maybe I should get back to the relative safety of the living room and order some curtains.

I’ll start with curtains.

But it’s too quiet.

I’ll see what’s on Netflix and just put that on in the background while I search for curtains.

What’s this?  The Walking Dead?  Sounds like zombie stuff, which definitely won’t hold my interest for more than like a second, so that will be perfect.

Four episodes later…

I need  more wine.  But I can’t go into the kitchen because I don’t have blinds and it’s dark outside and there are woods.

And quite possibly zombies.

I really should order some shades.

Oh yeah, that’s what I was supposed to be doing.  Finding curtains for the master bedroom.

Concentrate, Katie.  Seriously.

Okay, wow.  Did you know there are like a bajillion curtains online?  Oooh, look at these from Anthropologie.  They are kind of groovy and scrolly and chic, which is exactly how I am, so these would be perfect.  I’ll get them.

Click.  Click.  Double click.


Can that be right?

$148 for curtains?

No, that’s not right.

It’s $148 for just one panel.

I need 2 panels.

Yeah, I can picture that conversation.

Me:  So I bought some curtains for the bedroom while you were gone.

Justin:  Great!  We needed some.

Me:  They were $300.  Plus tax.  And shipping.

Justin:  Did they come with a hooker?

Me:  No, just 192 inches of velvety goodness.

Justin:  That sounds like they came with a hooker.

Me:  I’m pretty sure Anthropologie doesn’t sell hookers.  Or rent them.  But I can ask.

Justin:  So you’re telling me you spent $300 on curtains.  Do you have any idea how much steak we could’ve bought for $300?  That’s like… an entire cow worth of curtains.

Me:  I know.  I’m hoping they’re awesome because now I can’t buy anything else for the bedroom or the entire house ever.  And we will probably need to eat Ramen Noodles every night for dinner until February 2013.  But that’s okay because we can still budget for wine and now we have curtains.

Justin:  Did they come with a hooker?

So.  Obviously, I can’t buy these curtains.

What else can’t I buy at Anthropologie?

Oooh, a wine glass.

It’s $32.00.  Which is more than I spend on a bottle of wine.  Sometimes more than I spend on 4 bottles of wine.

Did someone say wine?

I need more.

But I can’t go into the kitchen because I don’t have blinds and there are zombies out there.


Quick.  Ebay.  Order the same shades that are in my living room.


Now I can go into the kitchen because even though I don’t have shades right now, the thought that they’re on their way is strangely comforting.

So all-in-all, I’d call this a successful evening: Zillions of rooms perused on Pinterest, 4.7 square inches of wallpaper border removed, velvety curtain dreams developed then crushed, shades ordered for kitchen, and 5 episodes of The Walking Dead completed.

Clearly, when it comes to preaching about experiencing life, I really know how to walk the walk.

Welcome to my world.


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Hilarious post !! Glad there is another person with whom I can discuss zombie survival techniques. Thanks for my first laugh of the day.


Dude… I think I’d have to opt out if there were zombies. I mean, the idea of getting eaten alive just really scares the hell out of me, ya know?? :)


You are too funny! I miss my Katie!!!!


I miss you too!!! It’s winter now — the corn is sleeping — you should come for a visit. :)


If that wasn’t an actual conversation with Justin, then you do a mighty good impression of him. And ‘The Walking Dead’ is friggin’ awesome! I miss not having cable as I REALLY want to be watching season 2 right now.

But my girl did mention, during a run, that eventually we’d probably get Netflix. I almost fell.


Well it wasn’t an actual conversation because I couldn’t stomach spending that much on curtains. But yeah, I think my impression of Justin’s impression is spot-on. He either would have said those things, or he would have punched me in the face.


Ummm…. did you know there are *ways* to get caught up on season 2 without having cable?

P.S. I watched a movie on Netflix the other day I thought you’d like. I think it was called “Friends with Benefits.” But it was the one from 2009 — not the Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis one from 2011.


I love that cushion. Have you trued steaming the wallpaper trim off?


Fortunately, my husband “surprised” me with the demise of the border while I was at work one day. Nice!! I think he used water… but even steam was no match for the wallpaper that used to be in our other bathroom!

Kat Richter

Your blog makes me want to get married and buy a house just so I can find ways to use “curtains” and “hooker” in the same sentence. Your decorative dilemmas crack me up :)


Ha! I’m sure you could figure out how to use those words in the same sentence without getting married and buying a house. Think about it. ;)


Too funny! Of course you know, if you got friendly with a sewing machine or some really strong fabric glue, you could make those curtains for $20 + a bottle of wine. The wine is for when you stick yourself with a pin, or your stencil isn’t straight, or oh forget it Ebay’s a great solution. Oh, and I have hideous floral wallpaper border in my laundry room that I keep saying I’m going to tear down, but it’s still there taunting me when I do my laundry.


I will PAY you to make those curtains for me. :)

Also, a tip: Don’t start tearing the boarder down unless you plan to commit. Turns out a partially-stripped border is worse than one that’s entirely intact!


Well, Katie, the first step to overcoming a problem is realizing that you have one… hah joke. Your witty writing continues to impress me. Especially that conversation between you and justin, hilarious.

The Walking Dead will do that to you. It draws you in, and then the next thing you know you look at the clock and its 6 hours later than you thought it was.

Very good entertaining article. Thanks for making a little bit of time at my job pass by a little faster.

p.s. – popcorn ceilings are soo 20 years ago.


Haha, glad I can help Nate!

And the bedroom is the LAST room slotted for popcorn removal. We’ve already taken them down in the rest of the house. :)


hahahahahaha. Ah, the life of wandering from one project one doesn’t want to or know how to finish to another…I know it well. And the old wallpaper borders…Ugh. That’s why I’ll NEVER have wallpaper. I have to be able to change a room in an hour, and that means paint…because I lose interest if it gets too complex. I definitely wouldn’t have watched the Zombies, but dh got me sucked into watching Silence of the Lambs when I had been perfectly happy watching college football last week.


At least you were smart and had someone there with you while you watched the scary movie! :) And yes, I wish the previous homeowners had the same foresight you did when putting up that damn border!

[…] So move on, I did, into the pep talk phase of New Year emotions.  You CAN do these things.  You just need a plan.  You need to set goals.  You need to fight every. single. go-with-the-flow urge in your body to avoid letting another year just slip away into a mushy pile of 9-5 workdays, should we/shouldn’t we have a kid conversations, and hours of online curtain shopping. […]


OMG I’m crying. CAHRYING. I’ve had this exact conversation (sans Netflix & zombies) every week for the full 1.75 years I’ve lived in my house. In fact, I stumbled upon your blog today because I had a brilliant idea to move the bookcases (bane of my office existence) from the spare room into the master closet (which obviously needs plumbing pipe rods) to free up the wall space to move the desk over so I can FINALLY get the glass shelves on the living room wall decorated. My husband doesn’t understand – but you do. I know you do. And you love the Red Rocks. If I had more time & energy I’d stalk you – since I’m fairly certain your windows remain shade-less. ~ Dee


Omg Favorite. Comment. EVER.

Please stalk me. Please?



“Let the record reflect Ms. Katie *wanted* my client’s attention (Exhibit A). The defense rests your Honor.”


*Non-malicious, sexual, violent, or otherwise criminal attention. Just good, old-fashioned adoration. :)


Good, ’cause that’s all I’ve got the energy for. Side note – the bookcases are empty & ready to be relocated! I still, however, have not figured out how many nipples I need.


Nice work!!! As a general rule, you can never have too many nipples.


Justin….give Katie back her blog. :)

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