Seriously, for the Leaps I’ve Made Today, It May As Well Be March Already
I’ve already run through the gamut of extreme New Year’s emotions this morning, so I’m feeling way ahead of the game.
I woke up feeling hopeful — hopeful that the new year would bring a sense of clarity about what I’m doing and where I’m going and how I can manipulate and pinch and twist the world like it’s my personal ball of Play-doh to get it to do what I want.
Hope, of course, immediately turned to anxiousness. What ifs came barreling through my mind — What if I don’t do anything significant this year? What if I spend this next New Year’s Eve as disappointed in myself as I was this year? What if I still haven’t learned Spanish, started that book, toned up my arms, published my first travel article, taken a cooking class, or remembered that it’s possible to change my ISO setting on my camera every single time I use it?
Fortunately, instead of swirling down the rabbit hole of self loathing or panic that can follow anxiety, I have the innate ability (probably derived from my pot smoking years) to stress about a problem for a few minutes, then get over it and move on.
It’s really kind of wonderful and has probably saved me from the straight jacket on more than one occasion.
So move on, I did, into the pep talk phase of New Year emotions. You CAN do these things. You just need a plan. You need to set goals. You need to fight every. single. go-with-the-flow urge in your body to avoid letting another year just slip away into a mushy pile of 9-5 workdays, should we/shouldn’t we have a kid conversations, and hours of online curtain shopping.
Then, zen. Of course, that’s not really the point. Life IS your daily activity. Your job. Your conversations. Your curtain shopping. You should learn to enjoy these things rather than wishing them a speedy passing, otherwise your whole life will be a speedy passing.
And finally, indifference. Whatevs. This isn’t any different from any other year. What’s going to happen will happen, and what doesn’t, doesn’t. There’s no sense in trying to control it. The world is not your Play-doh. Just stop.
So, already this morning I’ve managed to do what takes most people 2-3 months to do — stop stressing about the new year and all of my big, big plans for it, and just let it happen.
And no, I haven’t forgotten about my word for 2012. Ambition will hopefully still play a role this year. Because that, I can control. And I’m pretty sure if I can conquer that, everything else will just automatically bend to my will.