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My Granite Drinks More Than Me.

It’s sleek.  Smooth.  Luminescent and lightly reflective.  Seductive.  Natural.  It moves.

And, while I try not to take the beauty of my granite for granted, I’m just going to say it — that thing that will most likely put me on the combined hit list of decorators, kitchen designers, Realtors, and people who make their living carving away the earth one layer at a time — if I had it to do over, granite is not the material I would choose for my countertops.

"Okay, now show me how something white looks next to it."

From my post, The Biggest Rock I Ever Bought

Actually, if I’m going to be really honest, I wouldn’t be picking counter tops at all.  Because I’d be living in a grass hut in Fiji. Where our counters would be made of shells and sand.  Or something.  Which totally isn’t practical, but it would be Fiji, so practicality would be like… the last thing I care about.  Because I wouldn’t cook.  I’d subsist off a diet of tropical fruit, Nutella, and cocktails made from coconuts and rum.

Image source

Do they have Nutella in Fiji?

I hope so.  Otherwise I might have to re-think this whole thing.


For the last 5 or 6 years, anyone who’s even thought about remodeling a kitchen — even if they don’t own kitchens but just like to watch HGTV — knows that granite has been like THE counter material of choice.  In fact, if you recently remodeled your kitchen and used a material other than granite (or marble, but the idea is natural stone), you’ve likely been told that you better love it because you will never be able to resell your home ever again.


It’s gotten so bad that I’ve seen people stick slabs of this gorgeous rock across the tops of old, rickety base cabinets from the ’70’s — original hardware still intact — and call it complete.

Now please don’t get me wrong.  I love the look of our granite (though I still wish we’d gone with something a bit more neutral).  I mean, I minored in Geology and had a very impressive rock collection as a kid (seriously — I had a geology reference book when I was 12), so if anyone can appreciate the beauty of this stone, it’s me.

So if there was a way to say… hang a huge slab of it on my wall, or better yet, make a whole wall out of this stuff cheaply and without tearing massive scars into the earth’s crust, I’d be all for it.  It’s like art — truly.

Millennium Cream
Millennium Cream

But for a countertop?  Just.  Not.  Practical.  Why?  Here goes.

1)  As proven by the fact that I’m not sure I want kids because it will cut into my “me” time, I am inherently lazy.  Well, that’s not exactly true.  I’m always up and doing something — it’s just that I like that something to be something I like doing.  And that something has never — ever — included granite upkeep.

See, I’m not sure if you know this, but granite is a natural stone.  Nothing in nature is constant over time, meaning its state can always change.  Our particular slab of granite happens to be grainy.  In fact, the fabricators had to come back several times to scrub it down with steel wool before it felt smooth — not grainy — to the touch.  And still, every now and then, I need to go over it with the wool to get it back to that glassy, mirrored surface we all know and love.

Also, it’s porous.  This means that unless it’s sealed really well — a process you should repeat over the course of your granite ownership — it will absorb anything that sits on its surface for too long.  Especially oils.  Oils are its drink of choice.  I’ve learned that you can “suck” them out using a combination of flour and dish soap spread over the stain and covered by a piece of plastic wrap (yes, I’ve had to do this — several times), but it’s probably best to get used to the fact that your granite may not stay pristine forever.

2)  One thing people love about granite is how hard and durable it is.  Well, just remember that means it’s hard and durable.  If you use it as a cutting board, it will turn your knives dull faster than Ben Stein can cause a roomful of students’ eyes to glaze over.

If, say… it decides to do battle with something you love, like a wine glass for example, the granite will win.

Every.  Damn.  Time.

And not necessarily just when a glass tips over onto the granite, but even if you set its fragile stem down just a little too zealously.  Wine enthusiasm is not a wise move in granite covered kitchens, my friends.

The same applies to glass bottles, fragile dishware, and your face.  Really.  If you ever dance while you cook, trip over your own feet, and find yourself plummeting all-too-quickly towards that expensive slab of rock you so painstakingly picked out, you will know what it’s like to come close to death.

3)  Sure, granite is heat-resistant.  But because you’re so afraid of doing anything else that might damage it (like leaving an unnoticed puddle of olive oil sit overnight), it takes you a full 2 years to muster the courage to set down a hot pan.  And, when you finally do, it’s not nearly as satisfying as you’d hoped.

I guess all I’m really sayin’ is, installing granite is like having a baby.  You shouldn’t do it unless you’re willing to commit the time and energy it takes to make it the best granite it can possibly be.  You have to accept the flaws you can not change, smooth over the flaws you can, and have the wisdom to know that in the end, you’ll end up spending a significant chunk of your savings on an ungrateful slab that absorbs all of your resources without ever giving back.

And it breaks wine glasses.

Broken Wine Glass

Still set on granite?  Check out how my friend Alaina went about buying her slab, and here’s my own granite pickin’ fiasco from back in the day.

Every Room Has An Unshaven Armpit. Here’s Mine.

I know, I’ve kind of been MIA lately.

But I have an excuse.

Several, actually.

Remember when I showed you my nice, newly built desk that’s all pristine and clean and fantastic?

Well.  That’s all fine and dandy, but the other side of the room — the side I was too embarrassed to show you — has been looking like this:

Oh, the shame.  If the desk side of the room were the pretty face with fresh makeup and whitened teeth, this side would be the armpit.

It’s the unshaven armpit of my office.

It didn’t look like this due to laziness.

Okay, part of it was due to laziness.

But mostly, it’s my indecision that’s the cause of the hold-up once again.

I’ve definitely decided to paint the bookshelves white.  I’ve definitely (kind-of-sort-of-I-think) decided to stain the long wall shelves that will go above the long part of the desk a dark-ish color.  Although, I’ve since read that pine doesn’t like to stain dark very well, so now I’m considering painting them once again.

I also love this rug and want to have its babies:

Company C Tapestry Rug

“Tapestry” by Company C.  See it on my Pinterest page.

I could use something like this to cover up the horribly old and stained carpet in the office, but the more I look at it, I actually kind of want this for my kitchen.

And that doesn’t really matter because it is so far out of any rug budget we’d have if we actually had a rug budget, that I probably can’t afford to even look at it, let alone visualize it in any of my rooms.  So if you’re aware of a good knockoff or know how to knockoff any of the multiple online stores that carry it and get away with it, please let me know.

Anyway.  The good news is that I’ve at least managed to tackle some of that organizational nightmare that’s going on in that corner.  The bad news is that I don’t have time to show you right now because they don’t seem to like it when I show up to work looking like someone who woke up terrified in the middle of the night because her husband’s work pager was going off and now has to deal with the fact that he’s leaving town when there’s a hurricane coming our way.

But that’s another story.

Obviously I’ll need something to keep me busy this weekend, so let me know if you have any more office ideas!

Indecisiveness — not Curiosity — Killed the Katie

Hey, so remember the time I thought about decorating the office since I actually use it now and then a style quiz called me an alcoholic?

Well it turns out that quiz might have been on to something, because while I’m not an alcoholic per se, I would prefer to sit down and kick back a glass of vino while discussing the latest book I read over perusing the interwebs for office inspiration photos and staring at paint swatches.  Which is why it’s been… erm… 4 months since I declared I’d be decorating the office and have done exactly 1 thing:  bought a desk.

It’s not that I’m lazy.  It’s just that I’m so indecisive, I could probably spend so much time looking at  a dinner menu that the table next to me would have sat down, ordered, eaten, enjoyed some after-dinner drinks, smoked a couple of cigars, went home, had sex, and gone to sleep.

I never know what I want!  As the style quiz correctly determined, I’m into “Cozy… not oversized… a handcrafted gem.”

Yep.  That’s me.

I’ll admit it — I’m not hugely into the all-white/beige/cream trend that seems to have taken over the design blogosphere.  I mean, sure it looks gorgeous, but is it really all that practical?

For my lifestyle, NO.

I like warm colors.  I like comfortable.  I like reading a book in an over-stuffed arm chair with a crocheted blanket thrown over my legs.  I don’t love cleaning, I don’t own stacks of design magazines, and I definitely don’t collect little white ceramic animals and vases.

So why the heck did I buy this ultra modern, clean-lined, super white desk?

And more important, why am I painting another one to match it?

I guess it comes down to functionality.  I have a very cluttered mind, which, it stands to reason, would result in a very cluttered home office.  Therefore I think, when I ordered this desk, that I had a vision of a clean, minimal design, highlighting function, organization, and productivity above all else.

A room that screams, Just shut up and write.

Except maybe a little more tactful.

Something like this:

Photo source.

Or this:

Photo source.

Or this:

Photo source.

The problem?  These all require dark, bold wall colors, and I am not repainting this sucka.

I realize I didn’t clean up any of my junk, including the fugly dog kennel, but here’s how the office looks now:

View right when you walk through the door.  See that pull-up bar in the lower right corner?  Yeah… I can almost do half a pull-up now.  Probably because the pull-up bar lives on the floor.  Should I keep this painting?  I’m thinking I could pull some colors from it to use in the rest of the room.

Turning left… Yep, that’s my new desk, buried under junk from my trip to IKEA and an old office chair I wasn’t able to sell.  See that closet on the right?  There’s another one directly across from it.  I guess the architects designed it like that so there could be a window between to let more light in the room.  Those old computer towers in the lower left corner will be going away.  Eventually.

Turning left some more… Wow, that’s embarrassing.  Here  you will see no less than 3 camera bags sitting on the floor, my blue college trash bin, and a $10 bookshelf filled with… can you tell?… Justin’s Star Wars book collection.  I plan for the long desk he built to go on this wall in order to form an “L” shape with the existing desk.

Then, I think I’ll put some open shelving above the long desk with my IKEA file storage boxes, and maybe a bulletin board and/or some other organizational items on the wall in front of the short desk.

And one more turn… For some reason I neglected to take a photo of the wall to the left (or immediately to the right when you walk into the room.  It currently contains 2 more cheap-o bookshelves with my books.

So there you have it.  Here are the issues I’m willing to address:

  • Wall Shelves.  I’ve already bought the wood for 2 long shelves to go on the wall with the entrance to the room (above photo) above the long desk.  Should I stain them or paint them?  What color?  Remember, below them will be a white desk, and on them will likely be white boxes and magazine folders from IKEA.  So white shelves are not an option.  I’m all whited out.
  • Book shelves.  It would be a huge pain, but I’m willing to paint these.  Should we keep all 3?  I like the idea of setting up a “library” corner in the corner of the room you view right when you walk in (right side, first picture).  Should I paint them?  Should I keep them together?  Should they all go on one wall?  In the corner?  What?!
  • Lighting/Accessories.  I might be able to swing something by way of inexpensive desk lamp or ceiling light, but the budget is pretty tight on this project.  Like… nonexistent.  Like… I’m kind of at the end of my jobless grace period.  So I pretty much have to work with some paint and what we have.
  • Painting.  Should I keep that painting?  If so, where should it hang?  Should I use it for other colors in the room by way of accessories?  Looking through my Pinterest inspiration photos, I’m noticing a trend with a burnt orange color and/or a bold green.  Orange is in that painting; green is not. (*I take it back — green IS in the picture!  It’s in the leaves of the tree right in the middle.)  Here are some of my Pinterest photos:

Photo source.

I love this kitchen from the movie, It’s Complicated.  Maybe I could paint the book shelves a rusty green and have the burnt orange as an accent color somewhere??

Photo source.

Another photo with natural, rustic-looking wood has me thinking I should paint the book shelves a crisp white and distress and stain the wall shelves above the desk to look like the desk in the photo above.

Photo source.

White shelves with colorful books.  I could do that…

Photo source.

More wood, orange, and white.  I’m starting to see a pattern…

Photo source.

Hey, I’m more consistent than I thought!

Photo source.

Orange… green… wood…

Photo source.

This one’s slightly different, but I love that muted blue color, which also happens to be in the painting.

Let me ask you.  Did I already screw this up by painting the walls gray?  By buying/making white desks?  By being an idiot when it comes to design??


In retrospect, I probably should have tried to find a great piece from a thrift store and refinished it to get the used-but-loved look I’m pretty sure I like but have never been able to achieve (aside from the puppy teeth marks on my ottoman legs).  And I definitely should’ve come up with a design plan before getting started.  You think I would’ve learned with the kitchen!

Bottom line?

I need help.  And I’m counting on readers like TileTramp and YOU to help me.

So?  What should I do?  Besides say “screw it” and pour myself a glass of wine at 10 a.m. because it’s just an office?  (And that quiz thought I was an alcoholic.  Puh-leeze.)

…and the Husband Ran Away with the Toilet.

When I think about our huge guest bathroom remodel, my biggest regret is not buying a new toilet.  We replaced the old, yellowed seat, scrubbed out the inside with a pumice stone, and viola — the toilet looked new again.

Then it broke.  And still, it seemed the more economical decision was to replace the parts inside the tank that needed replacing.

Then something went wrong with the tank.  I’m not sure what, but it required the purchase of a new tank.

After that, the toilet decided it wanted to start flushing, on occasion, of its own accord.

And frankly, I was okay with that.  I mean… I only have so much energy to expend on a toilet, you know?

Then a couple of days ago, I noticed some type of store-bought packaging sitting in the bathroom with — you guessed it — toilet parts inside.  I guess some of my earth-friendly endeavors have worn off on Justin (or the water bill wore out his wallet), because he decided he no longer wanted our home graced with a ghost flushing toilet.

I thought it would be a quick job, but as is the case with all DIY projects, you have to account for the unexpected.

I try to do that, and I try to stay patient, but nothing — and I mean nothing — prepared me for the moment yesterday when Justin yelled from the bathroom, “Can you please open the door to the garage for me?”

Uh oh.

I walked over to the garage door and held it open butler-style, as my husband, arms encumbered with the disemboweled body of our porcelain God, ran past.

Apparently something was wrong with the way the toilet was screwed into the floor.

Apparently parts of our subfloor are now stripped.

Apparently this is going to be a much bigger job than we expected.

Apparently… toilets can also be metaphors for relationships. They’re always more work than you think, but worth the extra effort in the end.

I Really Should Start Doing This Professionally.

Well, happy Monday morning, everyone!  Or is that just me because I’m sitting here at my computer in my kitchen wearing shorts and a t-shirt and sipping coffee while the rest of you suckas are like dressed and working and showered and stuff?

If it makes you feel any better, I worked hard for the money this weekend — so hard for the money.

Flashdance, anyone?

Except, of course, dancing is not what I was doing.

I was serving food and beverages to patrons who, for the most part, are usually pretty cool, but for some reason this weekend were mostly complete asswipes who couldn’t bring themselves to tip more than 10%, which might be okay for some crummy waitress who never smiles and messes up your order and doesn’t refill your drinks, but trust me when I say I’m nothing if not great at my job and if you’re tipping me only 10%, there is seriously something wrong with you.

Really.  It’s not me.  It’s you.

(The exception on Thursday was the lovely mother/daughter duo who had me take their picture and almost made me cry over the sheer… genuineness of their relationship and also tipped me $18 because they’re pretty much the best people in the world.)

Also, I’m painting my entire living room today (and most likely tomorrow because, as I’ve explained before, painting is not necessarily just a let’s-slap-some-color-on-these-walls-and-call-it-a-day type of project — it’s a meticulous, tedious, back-breaking, laborious undertaking, the likes of which I’d wish on all tight-wad tippers of these Great United States for the rest of eternity).

I painted the crown molding last week, a task I’ve been putting off for four years since we painted the living room the first time without taping off the molding because we knew we’d be painting it (eventually).  And unfortunately, now that the molding is all crisp and clean and white and looking brand-spankin’-new, it’s become painfully clear that the walls need repainting as well.

The thing is, it really would’ve made more sense to paint the trim first (oh yeah… I still have to paint the baseboards, too) because I can do that without taping off the walls, and then I can use my awesome little short-handled brush to cut-in along the trim with the wall paint without having to tape anything off, just like I did in the office.

Sure, I have to be a bit more careful while I’m “tracing” the outsides of the room, but I assure you it’s quicker (and cheaper) than applying all that tape.

So why am I repainting the living room?

Two reasons:

1) It was the first room we painted when we moved in, and we had no clue what we were doing.  The “neutral” color we picked turned out to be pretty yellow, and while I personally loved the green accent wall around the fireplace, we realize that one day we’ll actually have to sell this place and it’s probably wise to choose something that will appeal to more buyers.  Also, we originally used a semi-gloss paint, which unfortunately shows every little flaw in the walls, and that just won’t do when you live in a 17-year-old house previously occupied by renters.

The colors are slightly more muted than this in real life, but this should give you a good idea of how they look now:

Reading Corner

2) One of our first projects was patching up these speaker holes on either side of the fireplace, and let’s just say we didn’t do the greatest of jobs.  Pair a crappy patch job with semi-gloss paint, and you have one fugly wall.



So recently Justin re-did the patch job, which affords the perfect opportunity to just go ahead and repaint the whole room.


Oh, and our friend Matthew from Inside the Nice Guy will be arriving for a visit on Thursday, so I have T-minus 3 days to complete this project (and other guest-prep tasks) before he gets here.

There’s nothing like the imminent arrival of company to motivate me for house projects.

Since it’s already after 8:30 a.m. and my coffee is all gone, I should probably get started.


Small SNAFU already.

Do you think Justin would have a problem with me removing our giant plasma t.v. from the wall by myself?


Oh well.  No one can say I didn’t try to get started.

Kitsch for my Kitch(en)

Have you ever felt like you have a million things to write about but no way to write them?

I have all of these things to tell you, but I feel like I lost my voice.  The words aren’t there.

Well, I have some words, but they aren’t witty or thoughtful or seductive in any way.

What?  They aren’t normally?

Well, crap.

Let me just tell you about the lovely little pottery festival I attended this weekend, otherwise known as “pay $10 to get sloshed on wine samples then $5 to walk around trying not to break any handcrafted pottery and then head back to the wine tent when you realize you never really wanted any pottery to begin with – you just wanted to drink the wine and listen to the music, which, you realize, is even more fun when you’re not the one serving the drinks.”

Now that I think about it, that pretty much sums it up.  So thanks, Danielle, for the awesome time!

I didn’t buy any pottery, but I did get some fantastic local honey, some seasoning stuff, a bottle of chardonnay, and this:

It combines my desire for a globe and my need for a place to store keepsake wine corks in one, fun-filled piece of kitsch.

Yes, we all know how I feel about buying crap just to have it – I normally stick to art and photographs since not only do they look nice, but they evoke memories and emotions, but c’mon people – it’s a globe and a cork holder.

It’s like it was made for me.

Sorry for the blur.  Apparently I can’t take photos and drink orange juice at the same time.

Who knew?

I’m Finally Out of the Closet

Okay, I have yesterday’s promised closet makeover pictures for you.  I apologize that this is pretty anticlimactic because, while I’m thrilled with the new sense of peace and organization this brings me, in the end, it’s still just a closet.

Except now it’s clean and painted and oh yeah there’s no taffy stuck to the inside wall covered with scotch tape.

Don’t ask.


After (empty):

All of the scratches and general dinginess have been smoothed out and painted over.  Justin hung the new shelf using some old 2×4’s we had in the garage, and I primed and painted them to match the shelf.

The really inexpensive hangars are from Bed, Bath and Beyond:

And both types of bronze hooks are from Target:

By hanging the hooks, taking out a few of the winter coats (umm, Katie?  Do you really need 4 winter coats hanging in a main hall closet in North Carolina for 4 years?), digging out some storage baskets I had hiding in another closet, and throwing out some of the junk, I was actually able to fit more stuff in here.

The dog leashes and car harnesses came in from the garage, Justin’s baseball hats finally came down from the top of the television in the bedroom, and everything is now much more accessible.

We can even still fit the vacuum in there, and we have some extra space for guest coats.  Apparently people appreciate that as opposed to flinging them over the back of a dog-hair covered sofa.

Go figure.

In the end, it really was worth the hassle.

Even though it might not look much different to you, cleaning out this closet helped clean me out a little, too.

Not in a literal enema sort of way, but in a figurative mind clutter sort of way.

Getting rid of crap you don’t need – both physically and mentally – is therapeutic.

Who knew you could get so much from a tiny little closet?

I can’t wait to see what happens when I move on to the walk-in…

Guest Bathroom Befores and Not-Quite-Afters

You don’t have to say it – I already know.  You’re mad because I’ve been lax in my home renovation updates.  And I want you to know that I understand.  It’s okay to be upset.

It’s like 4 months ago I tricked you into thinking this blog was going to have actual DIY projects and before-and-after photos.  I took you out to a nice dinner, opened the car door for you, wore a fancy suit – then, when we started to get comfortable, I began complaining about your cooking, making jokes at your expense, and wearing my holy underpants.

It’s inexcusable, I know.  But the thing is, people change.  Interests change.  And while it’s still incredibly important that we get this house in shape before we have to sell it, I’ve got bigger fish to fry right now than picking out flooring to replace the worn-out carpet in the living room or scraping popcorn off the rest of our ceilings.

But.  That doesn’t mean I can’t show you some things we’ve done already.  There are several rooms in the house that, while not complete, are vastly improved from the day we moved in.

Aside from the remodeled kitchen, our guest bathroom has probably seen the most change.  I showed you how it looked like a crime scene for several months while we attempted – in vain – to remove the maroon paisley wallpaper.  But lucky for us, and our guests, it now looks a whole lot different.


Guest Bathroom (before)


Guest Bathroom After


Kate's Guest Bathroom Wallpaper Removal



Kate's Guest Bathroom Crime Scene



We tiled the floor with porcelain tiles bought at Restore Warehouse for a fraction of what they would’ve cost at a tile store.  The actual DIY process of tiling the floors was not captured in photos.  Let’s just say it consisted of approximately 48 hours of intense stress, sweat, near-filing of divorce papers, and maybe a little blood.

Curved shower curtain rod

We tore out the old brass shower doors and had the nasty yellow tub refinished.  Then we hung this nifty curved shower curtain rod to make the shower extra roomy.

Decorating the Toilet

I haven’t hung anything on the walls yet, but I have decorated my toilet.  Because I’m cool like that.  We added the wainscoting and chair rail (all that white trim on the bottom half of the walls) because when we ripped out the vanity, we may have damaged the drywall.  Just a bit.  So this was our solution.  Happy accident, right?  We only had to re-do it once.

And I bought this nifty cylinder thing to hold the TP.  Pedestal sinks look pretty, but they’re sure not ideal for storage.

And um… we can wash our hands.

Rolled-up Towels

We can dry ’em, too.


And if we find we need to do dirty, smelly things in this pristine new room, then at least we have this.

Any questions?

Scene of the Crime

For right now, I’m keeping my “Choose My Own Adventure” poll open.  Thanks to those of you who voted so far, and for those of you who’ve stopped by but haven’t, why the f*** not??!  Please go vote immediately.  This is my future we’re talking about.  (Dramatic, much?)

We remodeled our guest bathroom about 2 years ago.

Here’s what it looked like when we moved in (unfortunately I didn’t have a wide-angle lens at the time – or for that matter a DSLR camera – just my little point-and-shoot, so you only get snippets):

Kate's Guest Bathroom Before

The above picture was taken while standing in the bathroom doorway facing slightly left.  The doorway you see ahead/to the right leads into the laundry room with the lovely forest-green aluminum blinds.  (By the way, if you’re ever showing your home for sale, please do not leave the toilet seat up.  It’s unseemly.)

This is looking straight into the bathroom and through to the laundry room.  You can kind-of, sort-of see the fugly, almond-colored bathtub with brass shower doors to the right.

Kate's Guest Bathroom Before

Here’s a better look at that bathtub/shower combo:

Kate's Guest Bathroom Before

We removed the confining shower doors almost immediately after moving in (that tub is tiny), but we were left with an extremely unpleasant shower door residue/fungus/mold-like substance, the likes of which I will share throughout the progression of this remodel.

And we can’t forget the huge-bulb brass light fixture with the charming paisley maroon wallpaper:

Kate's Guest Bathroom Before

The whole thing took us maybe 6 months to complete, and that’s NOT if you count the attached laundry room.  Which is just about done.

Oh, and we still have to paint all of the trim (in the ENTIRE HOUSE!).


Anyway, if you compare this to our kitchen remodel, the hubs and me taking 6 months to complete a project is not a shocker.  In fact, it’s almost timely.

So, did a gruesome murder happen in my bathroom?  Not exactly.  But, here’s what our guest bathroom looked like for probably 5 out of those 6 months:

Kate's Guest Bathroom Crime Scene

As one friend put it, “This looks like a crime scene.”

I promise you I’m not embellishing.  We seriously had guests stay at our home and shower in this bathroom while it looked like this.  It looked like this for a long, long time.

I have no shame.

Kate's Guest Bathroom Wallpaper Removal

What can I say?  We were naive, enthusiastic first-time home-buyers when we made this purchase.  We were excited because only one room had wall paper (this room), and our master bathroom just had a wallpaper border.  We thought we were getting off easy.

But this. room. was. hell.

In all its fury.  In my version of hell, I would be removing paisley maroon wallpaper for all of eternity.

Kate's Guest Bathroom Wallpaper Removal

Here are the tried – and failed –  methods with which we attempted to remove the wallpaper:

  • Dry peeling (simply using a putty knife and our fingers to pull off the stubborn paper)
  • Spritzing with water and then peeling
  • Spritzing with a vinegar/water mixture and then peeling
  • Spritzing with Dif Gel wallpaper stripper (two different formulas) and then peeling
  • Using an electric steamer (borrowed from our neighbors) to harness the power of heat and moisture and then peeling

Nothing worked.  Nothing.

Finally, the hubs ended up taking an orbital sander to the bathroom walls.  He quite literally sanded the whole mess off the surface.  This worked, by the way.

I realize this doesn’t fall withing the traditional code of wallpaper-removal methodology, but you can’t blame us.  We were at our eye-twitchingly wits-end.  My fingernails were navy/maroon paisley.

You. Can’t. Blame. Us.

So no, a murder did not happen in this room (that we know of).  But a double-suicide?

Almost, my friends.