I’ve Found the Perfect Job for Me…
Dear Company Recruiter,
I am confident that I would make a highly-qualified addition to your dynamic team because I have spent the last 29 years being a foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, judgmental shrew who frequently makes fun of strangers and anyone else I deem unlikely or unable to retaliate. I also can’t be left alone with cookies that aren’t mine, I talk loudly on my cell phone in public and I giggle when I see people trip. I believe that all of these qualities prove that I am the unparalleled choice for carrying on your company’s proud name.
Oh, and something about family planning or reproductive health. Or whatever.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Hugs n’ kisses,
Uh, I’d be careful. Maybe this is an “anatomy-specific” job listing.
No worries. I got that covered, too.
Won’t it be awkward if that’s who/what they want to interview?
“Okay, tell us a little about yourself.”
“Would you like a breath mint?”
Ok, so I laughed so hard at McDucks last comment, I had to wipe my computer screen off from all the “spray” I sent its way. Not a good day to be a computer screen.
Erin…I say go for it! HA!
You forgot to mention your biggest ASSet! Yeah, him, too. (Love you both.)