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HGTV Lies!

This post is about painting.  And Florida.  But not about painting in Florida, because that would be silly.

I’m leaving tomorrow for some much-needed sister love in Miami.  As evidenced by the pasty, translucent skin of my underarm in the above photo, my sister isn’t the only one I’m craving to see.  Oh Sun, how I’ve missed you!  My Costa Rica tan lines are but a faint shadow of their former selves.  I look outside my window and everything is gray.  I need your vibrancy and colors back in my life.

But more on that in a minute.

First, I must dispel a vicious lie – a lie that’s been portrayed to innocent HGTV viewers over, and over and over again.  Even if you don’t watch HGTV, it’s likely you’re still a victim of this heinous untruth, because it’s often unwittingly spread by various self-proclaimed home improvement experts (aka. people who watch HGTV on a regular basis) to their unsuspecting friends and family.

And here it is, the thing you’re likely to hear at least once during any given hour of HGTV viewing:

Painting a room in your home is one of the EASIEST and LEAST EXPENSIVE things you can do to improve its aesthetic and value.  Oh, and don’t worry if you paint the room and hate the color, because guess what?  You can always paint it AGAIN!  Yippee!!

I just have one thing to say:  Clearly, anyone who can speak these words with any type of honest conviction has never painted an entire room by him/herself.

Okay, I have more than one thing to say, so I’m just gonna say it.  Painting takes work, my friends.  It takes foresight, furniture removal, special tools, patience, and often a certain type of meticulous skill for which most people are unprepared because they’re continuously lied to about just how easy it is!

And inexpensive?  Not really.  You need to invest in decent brushes that won’t expel bristles into your paint, paint that properly cooperates with your walls, painter’s tape (if you don’t trust yourself to cleanly cut-in without getting paint on your trim), drop cloths (if you don’t trust yourself not to spill), a roller tray, and rollers.  Depending on the size of your room, all of this can add up.

And unless you have a painting buddy, it takes a bit of time and can be difficult to stay motivated.

Quick note about the above photo:  Clearly, I have no concern about using a drop cloth because that carpet needs to be replaced anyway.  And that weird beige thing my dog is sitting on?  That’s the wingless, legless, headless remains of a rubber chicken.  And the purple bits scattered around the floor?  Let’s just say the rubber duck fared even worse than the chicken.

Have I thoroughly discouraged you from painting yet?  Okay, I’m sorry.  That wasn’t my intention.  If it’s any consolation, I’ve painted most of the rooms in our house (Justin does the ceilings – lucky guy).  It’s totally doable.  I’m just tired of seeing people go into the project with unrealistic expectations.

When I get back from Miami, I’ll write up a nice little post about some of the painting tricks I’ve learned over the past few years.  When you know what you’re doing, the task isn’t terribly daunting.  And with the proper skill, you can save a bit of money on supplies.  BUT, if you’re anything like me, you still wouldn’t exactly call it fun.

What would I call fun?  Visiting my little sister in Miami!

It’s been over a year since I visited Kelly, and I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to this trip.

Last time I rode a boat.

And looked at Christmas lights.

And almost got in a fight with a feisty Latina.  I don’t care how old you are – cutting in line is simply not cool.  But that’s a story for another time.

Who knows what Miami has in store for me this year?  All I know is there will be drinks.  There will be music.  And there will be CAKE, because my baby sister is turning 24!

Catch ya on the flip-side.


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YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No puedo esperar a verte! Te quiero mucho!


Miss you already!

[…] was just before I left for Miami when I promised you a post about painting.  That was sometime back in 2010.  (Does that sound weird to anyone else?  2010 still sounds […]

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