I Could Drive a Long Long Way and Not Even Have the Gas to Make it Back
Last night I was alone. I was alone (which is really not too unusual), and at one very distinct point I found myself somewhere on that uncomfortable teeter-totter line between laughing and crying. It was uncomfortable because I really don’t like to cry, no matter how good it makes me feel. And creepy because laughing when you’re alone is just weird. Ask the Joker.
I had a really great fire, a couple of cozy warm dogs, a glass of cabernet… it really was the epitome of relaxation.
But I thought I wanted to cry because I honestly was feeling a little sorry for myself – despite the awesome words of encouragement you gave me both in the comments on my last post via other venues. But then I went and looked at the stats of this site, and I almost had to laugh. You see, yesterday I had over three times more hits than most any other day I’ve posted in the last few weeks. I can only guess that people saw the first few sentences of my post on the link I posted to Facebook – the sentences that stated what a colossal, epic failure I’ve been as of late – and they just had to come see what that was all about.
And that, my friends, is why I love you.
After all, isn’t that how we ultimately make ourselves better people? By learning from our own mistakes and those of others?
So really. It was funny. In such a good and relieving way. Like, okay… so maybe I’m screwing up right now. Maybe I just stepped on a big fat bag of poo to put out the fire and you’re all standing around watching me try to scrape the poo off my shoe, but it’s okay because I know now that none of you will make the same mistake. Should you ever find yourself in the same situation, you’ll dump water on the bag. Or beat the fire out with an old towel. But you will not, under any circumstances, stamp that fire out with your shoe. And if you do, at least I will be able to say, when your shoe too is covered in poo, that I told you so.
To top it all off, “Sexx Laws” by Beck came on the satellite station. Tell me – how can anyone be in a bad mood when listening to that song? Hadn’t heard it in ages. Totally made my night.
Then later this one came on. And I seriously made me feel like luck was on my side, you know? The Lithium gods really knew what I wanted to hear.
And of course, that made me think of this, which is even better:
And wow, maybe I really am old.
So thanks to you, and thanks to Beck, and thanks to the Refreshments, I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay. And I’m thinking this whole “honesty on the blog” thing might not be a bad way to go. I mean… it kind of sucks to put all your weaknesses and failures out there for the world to see, but it kind of sucks in a good way.
Like shock therapy by way of intense humiliation.
Especially when it comes to my horrible taste in music.
And that can’t be all bad, right?
I feel you on the ‘honesty blog’. I give you mad credit for it just because there are certain things I’ve been compelled to write about but then I know certain eyes will fall upon it (most likely). You can’t help the way you feel/think…you just have to go with it. Easier to give advice than follow my own ;)
The Refreshments always make me feel better. Largely, because it makes me think of high school and hanging out with the GBS in the Harvey Oaks Plaza.
Well, I think it’s safe to say I’m never going to be 100% candid… There are just certain things that definitely do not need to be put out there for the world to see (and I think everyone could agree on that). But you should try at least the semi-honest approach. It’s fairly therapeutic.
Ah, high school… Why oh why didn’t we know what we had when we had it?? :)
I <3 you honky! That is all :)
Crack. Me. Up. I miss your country (I’m not gonna spell it the “normal” way on the blog) butt!
Umm… If you love Beck and the Refreshments you have the opposite of horrible taste in music. I am taking huge issue with that statement… You have the same taste in music as me, which, if I don’t say so myself… is AMAZING!
P.S. How does loving these bands make you old?
Katie, this doesn’t sound like honesty…
The honest truth is those bands were cool not that long ago… That’s the stuff I grew up on (wait, am I old?)…
Also, you clearly have righteous tastes in music.
And, as far as the previous post is concerned I struggle to see how you are failing.
As far as I can tell, as someone who’s never met you and clearly an authority – you are awesome.
You better recognize!
Hate to break it to you brotha, but Banditos was a single somewhere in the mid-90’s (1996?), which would put me in about 8th or 9th grade. Now, I know the 90’s don’t seem like that long ago, but yeah that’s about 15 years. Remember celebrating the Millennium? Yeah… over a decade ago!
I assumed that you’re the same age as Becca, in which case you were way cooler than me at a much younger age. But even if you’re older, I think we both have to agree that the “kids today” would maybe not get such a nostalgic kick out of this music as we do. ;)
That said, you’re right – it pretty much still does kick ass. No matter how you look at it, Cee Lo is just never going to hold a place in my heart like The Refreshments.
Maybe blogging while drinking alone isn’t such a good idea. Warm puppies, NOW there’s a good idea. Wanna good cry? Try singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” as the sole patron in a Karaoke bar behind the train station in Toledo (okay, I stole that one from Kenny Rogers). Enjoy life, love, puppies, and good food and drink, and do have a Merry Christmas — and keep on blogging until you have enough material to write your book.
Hmm… weren’t some of the greatest writers/musicians total alcoholics?? ;) Not that I’m a great writer. Hmm… maybe I need to drink more…? (Kidding!)
Without doubt, listening to The Refreshments (or Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers as they are now known) is something that makes me smile. They are an excellent band to remind us of the simple days back in high school. I personally enjoy “Mekong” but any Refreshments of RCPM will do!
I know this is commenting on this post in response to your Hard to Admit post, but I don’t think any of us really have it figured out. A quote that I believe I posted the other day on my blog and that I absolutely love comes from Thomas Edison who apparently failed 1,000 times trying to create a light bulb. When asked about that, he simply said “I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb.”
Keep your chin up. 90% of life is just trying to figure out what the hell you are doing. The other 10% is learning from your mistakes.
Thanks, Matt. :) I think I’m going to make it a goal to flip those percentages – I want to already know what I’m doing and spend the majority of my time learning from the (very few) mistakes I make. Sound realistic??
If you can figure out how to flip those percentages, you let me know!
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