Love the Girl Who Holds the World in a Paper Cup
Drink it up.
You know, I really don’t know much of anything.
What I do know is that sometimes I feel so lost, so clumsy, stumbling around like some idiot in the dark when the light switch is right in front of my face and there are so many paths I could take and there’s no one standing around with a map or directions telling me, Here – take this road. And then I just get overwhelmed with indecision and sit in the middle of the intersection to pout until I get run over by an 18-wheeler.
But does anyone ever not feel that way? (If you don’t, please don’t tell me.)
What I do know is that I probably shouldn’t attempt to write blog posts at two in the morning when I’m a) buzzing from a busy night of waiting tables, b) tipsy from a glass of Jack and coke, c) drunk off of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and cold, cold milk (thanks to a very special person whose underwear I happen to clean), or d) all of the above.
What I do know is that many of my days currently revolve around food. Whether I’m planning it, cooking it, serving it, or eating it, I’m starting to feel like food is consuming my life. And really – shouldn’t it be the other way around?
(Don’t worry. I’m not sure what that means, either.)
What I do know is I have two of the cutest dogs that have ever walked the face of this planet and they’re so, so lucky because if they weren’t, I might have had a harder time getting over the fact that they destroyed my calla lilies today.
What I do know is that a girl at the bar totally made my night tonight when she walked up to me, slipped me a $20, and said, I’ve been a waitress before. I know how it is. You’ve been awesome. I know my boyfriend’s a handful.
Her words made me feel really great.
And also a little slutty.
What I do know is that I can’t keep trying to measure my accomplishments (or lack thereof) against other people my age. Because, the thing is, who am I to put a weight on accomplishments? Education, income, career, lifestyle… they might all affect how “accomplished” an individual feels, but happiness – in my humble little opinion – is the only true measure of success.
And I’m talking about genuine happiness. Not just the face you put on at the class reunion.
What I do know is that Catherine is a “blog friend” over on Simply Solo. Her father, who must be the wisest man on the planet, expelled to her these words of wisdom while she was in the throes of a quarter life crisis: “We’re all lost, Catherine. Don’t you think I’m lost? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
What I do know is that I don’t know what I’m doing. Not in the slightest.
But then, if it’s true that most of us really are lost, then neither do you.
And that makes me feel just a little bit better.
*Title from Danny’s Song, by Kenny Loggins.