Cat’s Out of the Bag
Not that the cat was ever in the bag to begin with. Seriously? That would just be cruel. Who comes up with these things?
Okay, so sometimes I might chase my dogs around the house with the vacuum or try to trap them in the laundry basket.
But that’s not the same thing. Because they know it’s all in fun. I’m pretty sure.
Anyway. For some reason, they’ve let me post another article to the site, Musings on Life and Love.
Even though I have no clue what I’m talking about.
Shhh. I won’t tell if you won’t.
Comments
Oh, now you say so.
Unpublish! Unpublish! :-p
Oh, crap. I forgot you sometimes read this. ;)
I read it all the time! I just lurk sometimes, because I’m sneaky like that. :-p
When CG was 19 and home from college one weekend he was vaccuuming his house and was chasing his baby sister(3 at the time) around the house with the vaccuum. She jumped up onto her parents bed and he lifted the vaccuum up. It snagged a chunk of her hair and pulled it out. She had a quarter sized bald spot from the incident. When the hair grew back it was all weird and extra kinky curly. You can’t tell now that she’s 19 and flat irons her hair, but it’s always grown in weird in that spot ever since. This is the man I married. That’s right I picked him and decided to have kids with him. All this to say chasing your dogs with the vaccuum is definitely not cat in bag territory. Off to check out your article.
This had me dying. And you gave me an idea for another post. :)
1. love the article.
2. u DO know what you’re talking about.
3. i might like you an irrational amount.
I’m going to write your comment in lipstick on my bathroom mirror so I can read it whenever I wake up in a shitty mood.
:)
Another great well written article Katie. This one seems to fit with the one I wrote called “why communication fails”… because its it is about the very fact as your title states “Why Can’t Men Learn To Read Women’s Minds?” and how that leads to a lot of “hurt” …. (especially when its you getting the “Your a nice guy but ” speech before being thrown to the curb because you obviously failed at “reading them”). although my article is not gender specific since both suck at communication at times.
I am going to take the side of the women in this case though . I don’t think “time” should have any relevance on expectations for the visit. Going over at 1200 noon is no different than going over at 1200 midnight.
Alot of people are “night owls” and its perfectly reasonable to just go to “hang out” . Look at what time people go to night clubs . Why should going to hang with someone at a club at midnight be any different than going to hang out at their home at midnight. anyways …just my thoughts….
You know, you should start reading my friend’s blog Inside the Nice Guy. You two think a lot alike. :)
And you’re right – Jack probably shouldn’t have “expected” her to have sex with him, because expectations in life often lead to disappointment, but I can also see his reasoning – especially based on past experience. The good thing is that he at least understands that “no means no” and although he was confused at the fact that she didn’t want to go through with it, he didn’t force the issue.
“because expectations in life often lead to disappointment” “I can also see his reasoning”
Again this is the inspiration that lead me to write the above article. people tend to blame others for “not acting as expected”
It depends on the expectation and what the person did about it.
As for his reasoning He invited her over without somehow communicating the purpose of the visit.
Just as if the tables were turned and she had gone over with the intention of “having sex” “IF” he made the moves on her and he acted like a “nice guy” and didn’t, Then She would have been in his place and would have left thinking negative thoughts about him and general other feelings of disappointment because in both situation they “expected” the other person to “read their mind”. or act in what they thought was a “pre-defined way.”
Patience communication and understanding really is one of the few triangles of life . lose one side and it all comes tumbling down which is what I was trying to express in my article.
Do you have a link to your article? I’d love to read it!
“As for his reasoning He invited her over without somehow communicating the purpose of the visit.” You’re exactly right. THAT is the problem. Not only because he didn’t communicate the purpose of the visit, but he thought he DID communicate the purpose of the visit! We all have such diverse ways of communicating, that unfortunately we can’t really solve the issue until everyone agrees to be blunt and up front about their expectations. But the bad thing about that is it takes away from (the admittedly childish but still exciting) thrill of the chase.
I agree with you 100% that patience, communication and understanding are requirements in a committed relationship.
“You’re exactly right. THAT is the problem. Not only because he didn’t communicate the purpose of the visit, but he thought he DID communicate the purpose of the visit! ”
yep that is where the communication hit the wall and why he was feeling disappointed after words.
“We all have such diverse ways of communicating, that unfortunately we can’t really solve the issue until everyone agrees to be blunt and up front about their expectations.”
You have a point but then the questions is , Can you blame the other person for not understanding what you wanted from them if there was that communication block.
In both situations both Jack and the “woman” leave disappointed at the other person when the other person had no knowledge of what was expected of them. So is their disappointment in the “the other person” justified for missing the “signals” or not being able to read their mind?
That is the question I have been trying to answer to my own life experiences. I just re-read my articles an they seem to have a very “frustrated” tone. When you read these two articles know that they have been written by someone who every relationship and a a few jobs have ended with Your a nice guy but …. “vague generic reason here”.
Maybe I was not fulfilling their expectations but i had no knowledge of that in my pov everything was going great until the point of the “speech and thrown to the curb” and thats how its similar to the situations above.
http://www.novablastmarketing.com/The_Value_of_Patience.html
http://www.novablastmarketing.com/Why_Communication_Fails.html