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There’s Nothing Fun About Exploding Sperm.

Is it just me, or does it not even really feel like the Fourth of July?

I mean — it’s the 4th.  Of July.  Literally.  But does it feel like a holiday?  Probably not, if you’re not in the U.S.  And probably not if, like me, you are in the U.S. but aren’t planning any grilling/feasting/playing-with-explosives-while-consuming-large-quantities-of-fermented-beverages activities.

Fireworks make me nervous.

They’ve always made me nervous.  Even as a kid.  So while I won’t hesitate to rappel waterfalls in Costa Rica or jump from a Cessna Caravan soaring high above the Hawaiian Islands, the thought of setting off Black Cats and Roman Candles and spinners and even “harmless” sparklers and those little popping sperm-like things you throw on the ground that explode with a mini-fierce CRACK that really probably aren’t harmless at all because seriously — what’s “harmless” about exploding sperm? — the thought of all that makes me twitchy and paranoid and inclined to repeatedly shout things like, “Be careful!” and, “Run!” and, “I once heard about a kid who lost his entire hand from an errant Black Cat — his hand!” and other general phrases that make people who are actually enjoying the dangerous, drunken festivities want to tie my leg to a rocket bomb and set it alight, just to see what happens.

Fun Snaps

Take my word for it — there’s nothing fun about exploding sperm.

So.

While I certainly love my country, faults and all, I’d be lying if I said that a part of me didn’t wish I was somewhere else this holiday.

Somewhere traveling.

Seeing the world.

Tasting new food.

Trying new drinks.

The bitch of this wanderlust is that it never really goes away.  It can lie dormant for a time as I distract myself with the folds of domesticity — picking paint colors, experimenting with new recipes, talking about where we might live when Justin retires from the military in 8 years — but when I’m alone, and I’m left to my own thoughts and immersed in my own raw state of existence for extended periods of time, the wanderlust inevitably rears its ugly dragon face of discontent and itchy feet.

While a huge part of me wishes I’d planned for an extended leave of absence during his deployment, the other part of me — the logical part — knows that someone needs to stay behind to take care of things here.  To pay the bills, take care of the dogs, and generally ensure that the house doesn’t fall apart.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t plan other trips.  Smaller trips.  Like an upcoming jaunt to San Diego or quick hop into Texas or maybe – maybe – some snorkeling in the Florida Keys for my 30th birthday.

And while I haven’t yet finished telling you about our trip to Colorado, it’s the knowledge that I’m not resigned to a state of stagnant routine for the next 4 months that helps me keep my shit together.

That, and phone calls from Afghanistan.

And dog breath.

And cookies.  Lots of cookies.

What about you?  Do you ever experience a state of unease with your routine life?  What do you do to remediate?  Plan a trip?  Bake a cake?  Drink heavily and pretend it’s not happening?  I’m curious.

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Katie

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Comments

RHome410
Reply

Thanks to you, my daughter and I spent an hour or so of the 4th of July reading The Bloggess. ;-)

It’s easy to get antsy when you’re alone, especially for weeks, and worry adds to it. But you love traveling anyway, so that’s just who you are.

Besides, the grass is always greener. If we’re tied to home to be the responsible one, our first tendency is to want to go elsewhere! Rebellion from the have-tos. I have that big-time right now, and SO want a vacation!!!

Katie
Reply

Haha, she’s just a little bit hilarious, no? Vulgar, but hilarious.

I’m telling you: TAKE A VACATION. You have my permission. ;)

Nina
Reply

I can totally relate. Routine drives me nuts! One of my favorite quotes is “Any idiot can face a crisis. It’s this day to day living that wears you out.” (Chekhov).

Unfulfilled wanderlust and living in one place for too long can be downright exhausting if you love to travel. I haven’t had a vacation in a long time and finally planned a trip to Montreal for next week and I find that the anticipation and planning is a HUGE mood booster. (I actually wish I had a longer amount of time to look forward to it cuz I’m so loving the pre-trip buzz!)

I definitely think planning small trips is a great idea (especially for your birthday!). It always helps me to get through the drudgery of office work when I know I have something a weekend getaway to look forward to.

In the meantime, perhaps you can try new food and drink at home (either a new restaurant you’ve never tried before or at least an exotic recipe).

It seems like you put your boredom to very good creative use – your post title is amazing!

Katie
Reply

Great ideas, Nina! Another friend just recently suggested something similar — that I should “travel” around this town more and explore what it has to offer.

I love the quote — it’s so true! And “exhausting” is exactly the right word for unfulfilled wanderlust. I’m so excited for you that you’ve booked your vacation! And while anticipation is awesome, I hope the actual trip is even better. :)

Katie
Reply

Great piece! Maybe I really do need to try this traveling near home thing… of course, I don’t live anywhere near as cool as Coronado, but it’s kind of ironic that I’ll be in San Diego in like a week, no?

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