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Millions Of Porches – Porches For Me.


They weren’t for me.

I just thought it would be fun to get the song “Peaches,” by the Presidents of the United States of America stuck in your head. This song was hugely popular back when I was what — in sixth grade? Seventh? — and I’m pretty sure it hasn’t left my head since.

I’m reminded of it, of course, whenever I see peaches. Or whenever someone talks about peaches. Or beaches. Or leeches or breeches or Sneetches. And then it stays with me for hours — sometimes days — and I find myself singing it in the shower. Humming it while I wash the dishes. Fold the laundry. Peruse the produce at the grocery store.


I hum in public.

I’m that girl.

But it can’t be helped. The song is sticky. Like peaches.

Aaaand here we go again.

The only way to distract myself is by playing “Lump,” my favorite song by the POTUSA.

And while the video is decidedly less exciting, with the band jammin’ in a boggy marsh as opposed to fighting ninjas in a peach tree grove, I’m pretty sure “Lump” has a deeper message.

I just haven’t figured out what it is, yet.

But I’m not here to talk about lumps. Or peaches. I’m here to talk about porches — the millions of porches to be found in Charleston, South Carolina that were not, in fact, for me.

Which is a huge bummer, because I really — really — like porches.

That is, at least, when they’re covered and it’s not too hot and there’s a respectable amount of air circulation and an excess of citronella candles and a very limited number of spiderwebs and, if we’re talkin’ dream porch here, a cushioned swing chair or a hammock.


A really great porch at our bed ‘n breakfast in Asheville, NC last fall.

My favorite part about walking through some of the ritzier neighborhoods in Charleston a few weeks back (and a really fantastic — and free — form of entertainment) was looking at all of the porches. Stacked porches, iron porches, porches with doors, and rooftop decks.


There’s no doubt about it — Charleston is a hot city, especially in the summer, and back in the days before air-conditioning, when most of these homes were built, occupants needed a way to cool down. Porches span the fronts and sides of homes, and I imagine that people in old timey times would open the doors and windows wide to allow cross breezes off the water.

These aren’t just porches — these are outdoor rooms.
Kid looks stoned.
“Hmm. Which level should we look down on tourists from today, Pookie?”

It was interesting that while many of the mansions on the south end of Charleston’s peninsula were draped in porches like debutantes’ pearls, main level front porches were a rarity. The entrances were beautiful, grande, and often covered, but many of the porches were accessible only from indoors. I suppose that was to keep crazy tourists like me from popping a squat on a rocker and demanding a glass of sweet tea.

I’m gonna go ahead and guess that these doors cost more than my entire house.

Of course, most of those porches were empty as we walked by. Apparently profuse sweating is so last century, but I don’t know. I feel like if I had one of these porches, I’d retrofit some fans (if that’s even allowed in these historic homes) to fight the heat and the bugs, pour myself a cocktail, and read out there for hours.


Of course, I don’t actually use my own porch, so maybe I’m full of crap.

How about you? Are you a porch person?


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*nostalgic sigh* I’m a wannabe porch person. In the southern climate, I kinda need a more direct way to cool off (aka a pool or the ocean). Of course, I’m loving these Charleston pieces! :) Thanks, Katie!


Million dollar idea: A PORCH WITH A DIPPING POOL!!!

Dibs. :)

Matthew Mirarchi

Oh, how I miss my historic childhood home’s front porch! So many memories with books, bowls of ice cream, and sweet tea. So cliche. So comfy.


There’s a reason cliches are cliche, no? ;)

Katie LeFebvre

I am definitely a porch person!! It would be a deal breaker if my future home didn’t have one. Great post and great pictures of ideal porches that I only wish I could possibly have.


Some day, Katie! Don’t lose the dream. ;)


Oh, I’d love a house with a porch to sit out and enjoy warm evenings. If only the weather would play along more often. We’re experiencing a heatwave right now, 30C plus, but last summer it rained nearly continuously.


We’ve got the heatwave going on now, too! I wouldn’t be sitting on my porch without a super-powered fan and a never ending supply of piña coladas.


I might be able to make this happen.


The moment I read the title of this post, that song started playing automatically in my head. And while Lump certainly is one of my favorite songs of theirs, I’m actually more partial to their “Naked and famous” song. The two things we all want to be. :)


Now it’s in my head again, too. Dammit.

And hey – of naked and famous, I’ve got at least one of those down pat. I’m on my way….

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