The plans for the new site (and a BIG announcement – NO I am NOT pregnant) are well underway, but in the meantime I wanted to share with you the dumbest picture I ever took.  (Thanks for your patience, by the way.  This website stuff isn’t exactly easy or quick, and I appreciate the patience of those of you who actually read my ramblings – it really means the world to me.)

I snapped it on my way home from a visit to Frederick, MD this weekend (more on that later).  I drove over this bridge – probably about 100ft. above the water – and couldn’t resist the beautiful sunset with the kayaker below.  So I crossed the bridge and pulled my car off to the side.  There was no shoulder, so I basically had to walk on this elevated piece of cement that held the bridge railing.  The railing was probably only a couple feet high.  I was wearing flip flops and had been in the car (hung-over) for 6 1/2 hours.

Not my brightest moment.

Meanwhile, cars are flying by, the occasional SUV brazen enough to honk.  Enough already, I know I’m an idiot.

The worst part is that the picture is not even good.  Not terrible, mind you, but not good.  The sunset had all but disappeared, and I was so nervous as I crouched at the railing, my bare toes hanging over the edge of the precipice as the cars zoomed past a couple feet behind my back, that holding the camera steady was not really an option.  And I didn’t even get to the center of the bridge.

So the lesson?  Don’t risk your life for a mediocre photo.  If you’re going to risk it, then walk to the middle of the bridge, take a deep breath, and get the shot you want.

And for God’s sake, don’t drop the camera!

Hey, all… I apologize for being a bit lax in my posts as of late.

Here’s why:

I will probably be partnering up with a good friend to make some changes to the direction of the site.  It will likely be a bit sassier… a bit edgier… but hopefully still entertaining and useful.

Because let’s face it – if you want wholesome, family goodness (and maybe some good stock tips), you’ll head on over to Martha’s site anyway.

If this sounds like it still might be up your alley, feel free to subscribe (see the bar at the right?) and you’ll know when the action is happening.

Thank you for reading!

~Kate

At work I’m writing an instructional packet for new contract employees so they can get their bearings when the arrive.  The hardest part about working for the government is… actually getting started working for the government.  So this guide is intended to provide step-by-step instructions to take new employees through the rigmarole of acquiring all the things they need (ID card, background check, email access, etc.) in order to actually become valid, useful contractors who are actually allowed to use a computer.

This little project of mine has been set aside for the past month or so, and when I looked at it again yesterday, I realized my approach was slightly… unconventional.

Case in-point:

So I think I might be calling new employees kleptomaniacs with an uncontrollable affinity for chocolate and peanut butter.  Oh, and apparently they’re also coffee addicts whom I’m encouraging to slack off on company time.

Here’s another:

Okay another coffee reference.  And now they’re clumsy, to boot.  I can explain this…

And again:

Uhhh…. Am I not-so-subtly suggesting – in a work document with my name on it, no less – that the acronym CAC sounds uncomfortably close to another “c” word?? (Hint:  rhymes with clock but then say it with a Boston accent.)

I can just hear the questioning now…

“So, were you actually intending to call our new employees junk food kleptos when you wrote this?”

and

“Accidents happen, but do you really think it’s wise to imply that all new employees are clumsy, over-caffeinated oafs who are bound to destroy any original documents we give them?”

and

“Do we really have to tell you that it’s inappropriate to allude – even subtly – to anatomical objects in a professional document?”

But I can explain all of this.  Really, I can.  See, in college the writing professors always tell you to “write what you know,” right?  Well:

• I have already divulged in my side-bar that I’m a sucker for all things chocolate, peanut butter, or a combination of the two.  Well put it an egg shape, and I’m helpless to resist.  Everything tastes better when it’s in the shape of an egg.
• Coffee?  I try not to like it.  I really do.  But I just can’t seem to stop the Starbuck’s spending spree.  And do I spill?  Only once or twice a month.
• And is it immature to think that CAC sounds like another word when you say it out loud?  Think about it:  “Insert your CAC into the keyboard.”  “Make sure you don’t leave your CAC sitting out on your desk.”  How could your mind not be in the gutter?

All-in-all, I’m pretty proud of the document.  I will justify my unorthodox writing by stating that we actually want new employees to read and understand what’s written there.  If it’s not at least slightly entertaining, they’ll never get through it.  Since this isn’t an “official” company document (a disclaimer that is prominently displayed at the beginning of the guide), this should be okay.

Right?

Right??

If you haven’t voted in my “Choose My Own Adventure” poll yet, it’s not too late. 

You can choose whether I should take a carpentry class… 

…or learn how to mountain climb… 

…among other things. 

Since I included an option where people could type in a unique adventure, I thought I’d share with you the options some people thought I should do: 

• “Write a book.”
  Okay, just give me a plot and I’ll work on that.
• “All of the above!”
  That is a distinct possibility.
• “Find Matt a girlfriend from afar.”
  Anyone interested?  Matt is one of the hubs’ best friends and really great guy.
• “Go mountain climbing in Colorado.”
  Tell you what.  If I take a mountain climbing course, I just may do this.  I have people there.
• “Learn to speak German, so when you move to Germany, you can be my fluent guide!”
  I would love to move to Germany, and I already know a little bit of the language!  Ich mochte kartoffelsalat, bitte.
• “Stripper pole class!  Do it for Justin!!!”
  Thanks for the suggestion, but I’m already living here for Justin.  Isn’t that enough?  Although, our anniversary is coming up…

So there you have it.  There are some good suggestions in there, but I get the feeling that some of you might have some selfish motives.  Let’s not forget that this is all about ME.  :) 

I’ll admit I’m a little disappointed only one person (so far) thinks I should move to Hawaii. 

See how happy it makes me?? 

 Now go vote!

Choose My Own Adventure

Military Spouse Day

I don’t know what happened.

Actually I do, and I will probably tell you about it when the shock has worn off and the grieving process is well under way.

But for now, all I can ask is, “why?”

My favorite wine glass.

May you rest in pieces.

Jack of All Trades