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Did I Ever Tell You I Used To Wrestle Alligators?

Okay, so I didn’t wrestle alligators per se, but I did relocate them, which involved a certain amount of handling, ifyouknowwhatI’msayin’

Oh, you don’t know what I’m sayin’?

Well. I doubt I’m really allowed to talk about it since the program was hardly official, but let’s just say that when I was fresh and limber and as yet completely unaware of my mortality and/or ability to become seriously injured and/or maimed for life, I held a job with a large government organization in south Georgia. My branch’s job within that organization was to deal with various environmental issues including recycling, air quality, water quality, above and underground storage tanks, oil spills, three-legged tortoises — tortoi? — and ‘gator threats.

The possibility of ‘gator threats included but weren’t limited to a specific gator’s potential to attack your child and/or small puppy.


Let’s get one thing straight.

Gators don’t just attack for no reason. Gators attack because they’re hungry, and they’re hungry because we — aka. “humans” — have encroached upon their hunting grounds, thereby limiting their access to prey.

Also, people can be dumb.

And dumb people would feed the alligators delicious things like potato chips or bits of hot dogs and the problem, you see, is that ‘gators can’t really tell the difference between hot dogs and real dogs. Or they can, but they just don’t care. And they also don’t really know the difference between generous offerings intended for their consumption and someone — or something — that’s just passing by.

Or they do, but they just don’t care.

So you can see the problem.

Anyway, we’d get a call about a “problem” ‘gator, and we’d have to head out to remove it. We didn’t hurt them — we just moved them to another location. And they weren’t exactly happy about it with their impressive display of hissing and rolling — their bodies turning into a muscular display of concentrated, twisting frenzy.

The power was incredible.

But, in the end, they didn’t get their way. They were moved. And sometimes they tried to come back, but then we’d move them again.

For the past couple of days I’ve been shadowing Becs in her office, and it’s reminded me of how toxic that environment can be — the tattling, the hissing, the twisting and fake grins.


And the women, ladies, are the worst.

Passive aggressive ‘gators in skinny jeans and cute boots.

Don’t give them a treat or you might lose a hand.

Shark Valley Gator

And I just have to ask — why are women like this to each other? Why does another woman’s mistakes make some women feel good?

I know, like the ‘gators, they don’t attack for no reason. They must be hungry. But for what, exactly, I’m not sure.

Guys, is it like this in your world? Because I imagine your world more as a place of healthy competition with some strutting and possibly a hurt feeling or two but where, at the end of the day, everyone gets a beer and all is forgiven.

Or at least forgotten.

But for us, it’s like The Hunger Games out there.

Last woman standing wins the prize — a solitary life devoid of genuine friendship.


And may the odds be ever in your favor.

So let me just be clear.

I’m not playing.

And if they ever think I am, I’ll just relocate them to a different place in my mind. A place safe from their grins and hisses and weird barrel rolls.

I refuse to feed the ‘gators.

Because worse than hungry alligators are the ignorant hands that feed them.


Don’t be a ‘gator.

And don’t be a hand.

And I’m pretty sure that’s all we need to tell little girls for them to grow up to be decent.

That, and that ‘gator wrestling is totally a legitimate profession.


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wow that that is a a very blunt yet accurate review of your gender its also another reason why a home business is so appealing for some as an alternative to office work. All I can add to that is in my opinion from my own experiences with women in various environments and relationship types from professional to romantic and everything in between is you are basically correct with your assessment.

“And I’m pretty sure that’s all we need to tell little girls for them to grow up to be decent.”

if you could add better communication skills to that list of what to tell the young ones so when they grow up they actually express their concerns when they get older and try to work out issues instead of telling their b/f how a wonderful and great guy they are before Dumping them for no other discernible reason.

That would be awesome thanks.

PS: yea i could not resist…. saw that line and just had to add that suggestion …… I have been posting here long enough your probably not surprised of that suggestion coming from me lol


Women do that because if they’re just not feeling the chemistry, they think it’s nicer to “let you down easy” instead of telling you the real reason they’re no longer into you. Also, they just don’t want to be the bad guy. I’d imagine that goes for both men and women in many breakups… Unfortunately, instead of making it easier, it just leaves the dumpee feeling confused.

(And no, this comment doesn’t surprise me at all.) :)


yea my point is I don’t think that is very fair. Maybe the issue that was causing them to feel that way was something that could have been improved or fixed.


Right. Needed to reply to this too. If you get dumped, it’s because it wasn’t working. Whether it was you or her and what and why doesn’t really matter. There’s not a lot of point wasting anyone’s time “working out issues” if your instinct says it’s not going to work. It’s beating a dead horse.

And yeah, when you dump someone, there are nice ways to say it and not nice ways to say it, but nothing is going to make the dumpee feel better anyway, so delivery is really just a difference between good manners and poor ones. I actually think a tacky dumping is kinder, because it lets you resent the person rather than be nostalgic. Easier to move on.

Instead of complaining about women who can’t work out their issues, find one with issues you don’t mind and who doesn’t mind yours. I’m not saying that’s easy or anything, but it’s easier than trying to fix people, which pretty much never works.


“Whether it was you or her and what and why doesn’t really matter. There’s not a lot of point wasting anyone’s time “working out issues” ” if your instinct says it’s not going to work. It’s beating a dead horse.

wow. that’s sounds cold and selfish.and a perfect example of why i made my origina comment. totally disagree


Why is it selfish? If you know something isn’t working, ending it frees both people to find something that will. Would you rather someone martyr themselves for you if they’re unhappy? Seriously? Who is that benefiting?


The first part of Katie’s response is the bet answer to the question specifically

“Women do that because if they’re just not feeling the chemistry, they think it’s nicer to “let you down easy” instead of telling you the real reason they’re no longer into you. Also, they just don’t want to be the bad guy”
my response to her reply is also relevant. but who it benefits is also in Katie’s response.

Unfortunately, instead of making it easier, it just leaves the dumpee feeling confused.

so yes its easier for the dumper but Is that very fair. for the dumpee?

The way you put it made it sound that you treat a person your in a relationship same as if you your phone was broke or you just didn’t like the brand

well this iphone is broke /not working for me I guess ill just throw it away and get a different brand


It doesn’t have to be that way. Quality leadership in an organization makes a gigantic difference. I have worked in a place that, over time, has had a complete rehaul in leadership, and while it was the way you describe when I started, it’s completely not like that anymore.

It has to do with the kind of behaviours that are reinforced with positive feedback, with the kind of people who get promoted, and I think primarily with creating a working atmosphere where people feel secure about their status. Women act the way you’re describing when they feel insecure and need to “prove themselves” or something. It’s not pretty, but it’s completely fixable. In a proper environment, the amount of support you can get from a group of women and the successes you can achieve together are incredible.

(I know this problem exists outside the workplace too, and I think it’s because that “working environment” is also still pretty brutal in its views on women, veneers of civilization aside.)


This is a SUPER good point. You pretty much nailed it.


Okay. Here’s my take: Yes. It’s selfish when women choose to end a relationship in a way that leaves the guy with no real explanation as to why it ended. She doesn’t want to feel worse than she already does, so she tells herself she’s being kind by letting him down “easy,” when really it’s just more cruel because it gives them false hopes. And while I agree with Stephanie that there really is no “good” way to end it, it’s almost better if she’s straightforward about her reasoning — even if it makes her look bad — because it’s easier for the dumpee to move on when he can be angry at the dumper. That’s just a fact.

Soo… I don’t think you two disagree entirely. The honest truth is that a dumpee just has to accept the fact that there are reasons and move on. You need to find someone who appreciates you. :)


For the most part agree with you Katie your very smart person :)

it has everything to do with honestly communicating with your partner when expressing why your suddenly feeling this way but it has nothing to do with making her look bad or your ability to “be mad at them” for breaking up.

Its about understanding the root of the problem and at least attempting to see if there is a solution to it. .

I know its scripted television but Leonard and Penny on Big Bang Theory is a perfect personality type and relationship example type I am trying to portray.


Ok, I can’t do anymore nested replies to that, but this is in response to the comment above.

There’s a difference between broken and not working for you. Broken can be fixed. Not working for you can’t. And yes, while I don’t equate relationships and phones, this does apply to both. Sorry if that makes me sound cold.

I agree with you that it’s not courteous to leave a dumpee confused with mixed messages, but all I’m trying to say is that no matter the delivery, the end result is the same – that someone has been dumped. Nothing else, no matter how nicely or not nicely it is put, changes that.

So someone can say, “You’re lovely, but it’s over.” and you’ll think, “But if I’m lovely, why is it over?” and you’ll analyze that confusedly forever. Or they can say, “One day I woke up and I realized I hate you.” and you’ll feel like crap and maybe you’ll hate them or maybe you’ll hate yourself or maybe you’ll try to change their mind. Or they can say something else that is somehow the perfect breakup thing to say and as a result, even though you have been dumped, you will love them forever for being so awesome, and unrequited love sucks. Or or or…. There’s no good way. And the only bit that matters is it’s over.


Sorry for hijack, Katie.

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