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Though I’m Pretty Sure They Were Tears Of Joy.

“So are you the mom?”

The face from whence the question came looked so youthful. So innocent. But apparently that didn’t stop me from wanting to curse it to a lifetime of rosacea and adult onset acne, or perhaps watch it grow hairy warts and wrinkle prematurely, right there in front of the White by Vera Wang ultra tufted tulle.

“Um. I’m the sister,” I replied.

It was 10:00 a.m., I hadn’t had any coffee yet, and suddenly I wished my water bottle contained something stronger. The three giggling college girls were piled atop the two chairs next to me, waiting for their friend to appear in yet another jewel-encrusted monstrosity with a corset back — something that looked more appropriate for the wedding night than the actual wedding.

God. I am getting old.

But the original offender could’ve at least had the decency to look embarrassed. Instead, she shrugged. I mean, I suppose I could be Kelly’s mom, like in some freakish alternate universe in which 4-year-olds ovulate and have the mental capacity to raise functional human beings. I suppose that could happen. But instead I’m a 33-year-old woman with no kids and no real career of which to speak, which should, theoretically, leave me looking refreshed and stress free — not old enough to have a 29-year-old offspring.

Especially because I’m not old enough to have a 29-year-old offspring.

Oh hey, it's just me and my daughter.
Oh hey, it’s just me and my daughter.

“Kelly? Do you have one on yet?” I called towards the door. The girls stank of budding optimism — they were still years away from discovering their first errant chin hair — and they were making me anxious.

I also needed coffee. Stat.

But then she emerged from the dressing room. My sister, my little sister who learned to walk by holding onto the butt pockets of my pants and following close behind — the one I helped walk through several broken hearts and one set of broken parents — for whom I frantically ran around an entire lake with an armful of clean towels afraid she was bleeding to death when she fell on her roller blades — is getting married and there’s nothing I can do about it.

It dawned on me when I saw her there in a long gown of white lace that–

my little sister doesn’t need me anymore.

And I waited until she disappeared back into the dressing room before letting the tears fill my eyes.

“Oh,” said one of the girls. “It’s so emotional, isn’t it? Seeing her ready to get married?”

“No,” I said, wiping a smudge of mascara. “It’s because you thought I was her mom.”

Us on my wedding day. Like mother, like daughter.
Us on my wedding day. Like mother, like daughter.

Katie

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Comments

Jason S
Reply

Haha when we go to the abc store she’ll say thanks for buying my liquor dad!;) then i just kiss her on the lips!;))

Katie
Reply

LOL. And EWWWW! Hahaha That’s why you two make a great couple. ;)

Diana
Reply

Mother?!!?!?! Sorry…but this made me laugh a lot! Anyway…y’all are so cute together!

Katie
Reply

Haha you’re supposed to say, “There’s no WAY you look like you could be her mother!” ;)

Diana
Reply

now i know I am responding like a month later to this – – – but: “Mother?!?!?!?!” translates to “There is NO WAY you look like you could be her mother!” Sorry that was not more clear…..and that is why I was laughing a lot…..a whole lot…of course you look like a little spring chicken still in college…..Anyway…saw your post on Thanksgiving…y’all are moving??? Did I miss that in another post???? haven’t y’all been redoing your house for a long time? Anyway…I wish you both a happy and safe move and a wonderful thanksgiving – – – wherever you will be. Baci!

Mary Berger
Reply

Well, at the bridal store when I was trying on dresses, the sales lady asked my mom if she was my grandmother. I guess this conundrum crosses all generations. :)

Katie
Reply

Nooooo! What is WRONG with people? Making assumptions about generational relationships is as bad as making assumptions about pregnancy — you just don’t do it! :)

Kat Richter
Reply

Haha!!! OMG this is one of my favorite posts of yours ever- made me laugh and made me cry. My lil’ bro is thinking of tying the knot fairly soon (much sooner than any of us predicted) and even though I think his girlfriend is awesome (we do lunch!), I’m starting to realize that she “gets” him in ways that I never could- and it’s awesome for him but kind of sad for me because I feel all not-needed now too.

Katie
Reply

Ugh. Until someone asks whether you’re his mother, you can’t feel my pain!! ;) (Really, though. Why does no one warn us older siblings about this?! We want them to be happy until we realize that them being happy means they don’t need us anymore…)

Kelly (YOUNGER sister)
Reply

Bahaha haha I just busted out laughing at work. Btw, I am not 29 yet

Katie
Reply

DAMMIT.

Colleen Brynn
Reply

Haha… perfect come back.
But you know she will always need you. :)

Katie
Reply

That’s what I keep telling myself. ;)

renpiti
Reply

Reading your posts always re-invigorates my own creativity. There’s a reason why you’re my writing mentor, and this post is part of it. Plus, I like bragging that I have a hot young mentor. :P

Katie
Reply

A hot young mentor who looks like she could’ve birthed a grown medical center executive!! ;)

Britany Robinson
Reply

OK, I’ll admit that it’s been way too long since I’ve visited your blog and now I remember why it’s one of my go-to’s, whenever I need a break from writing. Your humor is always so refreshing and I leave your site feeling amused and motivated to get back to trying to be humorous myself! I’ve missed you!

Also. What the hell. You clearly have the skin and the spirit of a 23-year-old.

Katie
Reply

Yeah I kind of lost my mojo there for a bit. Now I’m just writing when I feel like it. ;)

(And HA! Clearly you’ve never seen me in person. But I love the way you think!)

Britany Robinson
Reply

ahh i wasn’t referring to you losing your mojo… just my own failure to check in lately! :) You girl, are mojoful.

Katie
Reply

Oh nono — I knew you weren’t referring to that. But it just happened to coincide. :)

Andi
Reply

Ah the impetuousness of youth. I hate that. I am feeling very old these days. Every morning when I wake up my feet hurt when I get out of bed, its like they need to lubricate or something!

Katie
Reply

That is weird about your feet — I wonder if you’re getting poor circulation at night? And you definitely don’t LOOK old. So there’s that. :)

AshlieWoods
Reply

1. You are very obviously not old enough to be her mom (stupid kids) and 2. it’s totally happened to me before! Was on a vacation with my younger sister (7 years) when a guy asked if I was her mom. I soothe myself by reasoning that I was putting sunscreen on her shoulders at the time, a very motherly thing to do ;) Congrats Kelly!!

Katie
Reply

Yeah, the girls did tell me once they got a look at her that they didn’t think I could be her mom but dress shopping was such a mom thing to do. Ha! So I’m going with your sunscreen theory. ;) (That, or I should’ve used WAY more of it during my youth because apparently I look thirty years older than I am.) ;) Glad (but also not glad) that I’m not alone! Ha!

Stephanie
Reply

The cheek! Congrats to your sis though. And that’s a lovely photo.

Katie
Reply

I love that picture — it was a really nice moment. :)

estherjulee
Reply

you still look young. i feel like i’m in the same boat as you. i’m turning 33 in a couple months, with no kids.. and no real career too. I don’t have any siblings, but I also think your sister will need you plenty even if she’s married. marriage can be really tough work. and it’s always good to have support from friends and family. :)

i always find it strange that all my friends seemed to disappear right after i got married. they all thought we needed our own space, which made me feel really lonely and miss my friends. then i realized that in the past i had done the same thing to some of my friends when they got married. Congratulations to your sis!!

Katie
Reply

That’s an interesting observation! I got married pretty young (23), and I didn’t really notice that, but then we moved far away. I found the friends who mattered most stuck around, and I guess that was my first adult lesson that people come and go in our lives. :) By the way, you look AMAZING. I thought you were in your early/mid 20’s. And you definitely have a real career — I cannot imagine how hard you and Jacob must work to have such an incredible blog. And thanks for making me feel better about my sister — maybe she WILL still need me! One can only hope. ;)

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